Labor Day- Work September 7, 2009

This Sunday I was asked to read a quote by President Dieter F.  Uchtdorf of the the First Presidency of my church. He says:

“May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you.  But don’t reach beyond your capacity.  Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve.  Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure.  Don’t compare yourself with others.  Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest.  Have faith and confidence in Him and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. “

Easier said than done.  Why is this so hard?  At least for me, this is the great challenge of life.  I love my job, but I have always been bad at balancing the demands of work and life.   Especially as my business has begun to change there seems to be an unending number of projects and opportunities.  Just this weekend I got a new client, which is a tremendous chance to improve my standing as a property manager and make some good money along the way.  It is a connection and  opportunity  I need to add more clients besides my father.  As grateful as I am, it is also one more thing to balance in my life.

Right now there are so many things left undone.  I haven’t started real estate courses I’ve paid for.  I haven’t done much on sales tax for Grabber; and I still have tons of work on Grabber events.  That’s just the tip of the iceberg.  There are spaces this fall in the Anna and Madeline to get reserved, a client with 25 homes I would love to work with more, a guest blog I have committed to write and edit, and this new home I need to find tenants for.  I have agreed to all of these projects and I know they will bring in more money and  help my career.  In addition to work I have church responsibilities, temple work, family, and a million creative projects I would love to tackle.   I love entertaining, gathering with friends, cooking, swimming, community service, politics, singing, and reading.  With a few exceptions, I am afraid lately work has been trumping all of these noble endeavors.   I want to be better at balancing my life but I find it very challenging.

  My sister once told me I was a workaholic, and I think there is some truth to that.  I hate unfinished projects.  I think part of it is growing up with a little bit of dyslexia. This made projects and homework more difficult and time consuming than for my friends.  In college, I worked harder than most of my classmates and yet my grades were not as high as I felt they should be. I have a great memory and still recall lectures, books, teachers from college, yet in some of those same classes I scored Cs and Bs.  Isn’t that weird?  I clearly learned the required material and was impacted by it but my grades didn’t show?  This taught me that any assignment, task, job, responsibility I had was going to take twice the work from me as it did for anyone else for the same results.  I am not saying this to engender sympathy.  It’s just the way it is.   Even when I was getting my MBA other students appeared to coast when I spent hours on projects (at least in that case I got the A’s almost  every time for my hard work!).

The hardest thing for me is having true relaxation time.  This is particularly true since I work at home and am never far from the call of my cell phone or the ever present email.  I know there are reservations I have gotten because I was the first to respond and this keeps me constantly checking and rechecking.  Having the phone off for an evening makes me nervous.  In fact, just the other day I turned my phone on silence and missed out on a reservation for our vacation rental that would have been great.  My dad ended up taking the call, so perhaps they would not have agreed to rent with us anyways (if my dad can’t sell it, nobody can.  He’s a great salesman).  My brain is constantly going about how I can make things better, get more sales, satisfy clients and be more of a success.  I have had insomnia for over a year because I can’t stop thinking about work.

I don’t want to sound like I am complaining because one of  my greatest joys in my life is  work.  I love what I do.  I love how it uses all my talents and yet challenges me each day.  I love the people I meet, the freedom I enjoy, the variety of tasks, and flexibility.  I love the relationship I have developed with my dad through this job and feel we are closer than ever before (that is perhaps the greatest gift of my job).  I love feeling like I finally contribute to society in a meaningful way and help make people happy- either on vacation or in their permanent home.  Because I know what it feels like to be unhappy in work, I will do whatever it takes to keep my current job and be a success at it.  Maybe everyone who owns their own company goes through this?  Maybe it is the price to be paid? My dad said when he was self-employed in Maryland that he worked 70 hour work weeks.  He worked from home and worked very hard but it never seemed to be an obsession or over-powering influence on his life.  In fact, he managed to own his own business while my mother was bedridden when she was pregnant with Sammy.  How he was able to do that and remain so outwardly calm and collected I will never know.  It is amazing.

One thing I have to remember is I always find a way to pull things off.   I worry about getting projects done but then I always do.  It’s like with the Grabber Events.  I thought it was going to be impossible to get the calendar submitted by the end of August and yet somehow I made it (September 3rd to be precise)!  It was done and up to my standards.  I worked hard and the Lord did expand my capacity in the month of August, and I am so grateful for His help.

I would love to hear some advice from all of you- especially if you work at home or for yourself- on how you separate work, family, friend and time for yourself?  How do you know when to say no to projects?  How do you not “set goals beyond your capacity to achieve”?    I  don’t even know what my real capacity to achieve is.  I always think I can do more, be more, and make more of a difference. How do you truly relax and feel rejuvenated?  Even today, on this holiday, I feel a pressure to work that is hard to describe.   How do you turn that off?

Smell of Cardboard May 12, 2009

It may come as a surprise to many of you but I am officially moving on Saturday! I got the opportunity to upgrade to a 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment for only around $50 more a month. As much as I love my current place, I couldn’t resist the chance for more space- particularly for an office. I have been suffering from insomnia lately, and I’ve read that using your room for only sleeping helps. (Yesterday I had a dream about the Dark Knight. I so wish I hadn’t seen that movie!).

Anyway, I decided to go ahead with the move. Thanks in advance to anyone helping me. I really, really appreciate it! Even though I am Ok with my decision I will be a little sad to be leaving my place. This apartment has symbolic meaning to me. I had been through a tough year in 2007/2008 and finding my own place made me feel complete. I felt I had finished the purifying process of the particular trials I had experienced during the last 3 years.

Living by myself has  made me strong in a new way. I have always striven to direct my own life- make my own choices; however, time and again I am swayed by the feelings and opinions of others. Being alone has forced me to be independent and strong. I am grateful for that strength. At the same time I also appreciate my amazing family and friends who never let me feel alone. It has been the best! A particular thanks to Megan, Anna, my mom and dad, my uncle Jim for all his help, and my friend Camille for never being more than a phone call away. It sounds like a freaking Oscar speech, but I really am grateful!

So with that said the other big news of the move is I am going to have a roommate.  It just kind of worked out, and I think it is the right thing for this time in my life.  It happened quickly- like since Sunday. I found out my friend Sunnie Bybee needed a place to stay and after looking at the new place, I felt good about it. I figure we can try it out and see if it works. She’s a nice girl, and I think we will gel well together. I will have to downsize some of my stuff but that’s ok. There are benefits to having roommates (financially and socially) and benefits to living alone. In this case, I figured it was worth a try. Luckily she doesn’t have any furniture so that makes things easy. I will just have to cut down on my kitchen stuff and put away some of my wall art and photos . I am a little nervous because I have gotten into a few bad habits living by myself- particularly when it comes to the laundry. At least Sunnie is a patient person, so we should be fine! Hopefully she will understand the transition from living alone to sharing will have a few bumps along the way. We will see how it goes!

As with every move, I am going through my stuff and am amazed with how much I have. The only good thing about moving is it gives a good chance to de-junk. Since I move about every year I get to de-junk frequently. Last year I moved 4 times! Oh my!

I will post pictures of my new place next week. Wish me luck and anyone who is in the area I can use all the help I can get Saturday at 11am. Thanks so much!
On to a new adventure!

Book Club April 24, 2009

So today I went to my book club and had a fantastic experience.  We were reading the Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.  I tried to describe this book in my Goodreads account, and I was at a lost for words.  It is an odd book.  In a way it was ideal for book club because there is tons to talk about.  I don’t know if the author was even completely sure what everything meant while he was writing it. The best I can say is  it’s about a young black man in the 50s who is eager to make a difference in the world. Unfortunately he is thwarted by both the white and black community.  He becomes the invisible man because he realizes that hiding underground is the only way to be himself. Ellison said The Waste Land by T.S. Elliott was his inspiration.  While I am no expert on it, I can see how Waste Land with all its complex layers and diverse interpretations influenced Invisible Man.  I can also see how the philosophies of the late 1940’s and 50’s from Heidegger, Levinas, Kierkegaard and Nietzche affected his writings.   These thinkers believed that mankind started life pure and then slowly their minds are altered by society to justify negative behavior towards other human beings.  Some say this is inevitable (as Ellison seems to think) and others feel man can break free and be an independent spirit (Ellison also seems to believe this…).  I will have to do an entire entry one day about these great thinkers.  I find them fascinating.

That’s not a good description but as close as I can get.  It’s a pretty pessimistic book but also interesting.  Clearly such a book provided lots of discussion on characters, themes, metaphors, writing style, politics then and now, imagery and more.  The thing I love about the book club is that all opinions are respected and everyone is allowed to talk. We also have a wide variety of backgrounds and interests, which make discussion even more enriching.  For instance, today I brought up my knowledge of philosophy and we talked about Plato and his invisible man (the Ring of Gyges story) along with other philosophers and how their ideas relate to the book.  Politics, religion, poetry, community spirit, and plot were all enlightening topics.  I am grateful to be a part of something where my opinion is respected and taken seriously.

Aside from being educational,  the book club is also a lot of fun.  I find it exciting to interact with women outside my close circle of friends.  I have the best girlfriends, but I also like to branch out every now and then.  It is good for me. I think it expands my understanding of the world and makes me a better person.  I found the book club through Craigslist, and I must say I felt bold at the first meeting.  It was a little scary to go to a meeting where I knew no one.  I had no idea if I would fit-in or have a good time?  It was a risk, but I’m glad I took it.  I am going to miss the May meeting because I will be in Hawaii ( I know poor me!), and I really will miss it.  Of course, with the waves and beach I won’t be missing it for long!  Still, it will be great when June returns, and I can once again attend my book club.

I know it is hard to go out and meet new people- to expose yourself to unfamiliar settings and positions.  Despite this risk, I challenge you to try it.  Naturally be safe but look at meetup.com or craigslist and find a group that seems interesting.  Join a knitting guild, a book club, a political campaign, the PTA, scrapbooking group, sports team, church group or volunteer organization- whatever gets you excited and meeting new people.   I am confident it will make your life better as it has mine.

Also… the other great thing about meeting new people is that it is a lot of fun at little expense.  Just the cost in gas and refreshments when it is my turn.

The last few days April 5, 2009

It has only been a week or so since I last posted but it has been a very busy time for me. Some highlights are:

- I gave the lesson in the combined priesthood/relief society meeting at church. My ward is large and this was basically a lecture in front of around 200 people! A little scary but exciting as well. I felt the Lord was inspiring me as to what to share. The message was that we as singles can be happy and live a full life. You can also gain a testimony from Heavenly Father that your life matters- no matter your marital status. I talked about 4 key points to a happy gospel centered life:
1. Seek Daily Personal Victories- find little things everyday to be happy about even if it is something small like working out when you don’t feel like it or cooking a good meal when you are tempted to eat out.
2. Live a full life- find things that you have always wanted to do and then set goals to do it. There are few things you can only do when you are married. Living a full life is why I am constantly setting goals, planning trips and taking classes. I am not perfect in this regard but the effort makes me happier.
3. Discover your divine nature and purpose- pray to Heavenly Father and He will tell you of your worth. As Romans says “we are the children of God. And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.” Think about that- we all have the potential to be glorified with Christ. I believe each of has to ask God if He loves us, if we are His children. I also believe He will answer that prayer.
4. Remember “not my will but thine be done”. Jesus Christ set the perfect example of humbling submitting his will to the will of the Father. We all have difficult experiences that seem unfair or unjust. Following the Savior’s example in such instances helps us to find purpose, meaning and to survive happily.

– Anyway, that was my lesson and I felt it went well. It was a nice moment for me to look back at the last few years and to see what I have learned. I could not have given that lesson a year ago, or a year and half ago. You don’t have that many moments of retrospection in life- moments where you can look back and see growth. I was proud of the women I have become while giving that lesson and I realized the many ways I can become better.

– Moving on. The last week has also been a busy week work-wise and in my other activities. I have started cleaning the rental properties and did so 3 times in the last 2 weeks. Yesterday I cleaned for 4 hours and then had to dig my car out of the snow. Needless to say my muscles hurt today! Maybe I should start the cleaning exercise routine? You could do “the scrub the floor”, “the shovel snow” and “the sweep/vacuum”. It seems to be working for me! It is actually quite satisfying to look at messy room, and then work on it and see the clean results. I never thought I would be cleaning houses as part of my job but it certainly beats a desk job. That’s for sure! I will do anything legal to avoid sitting day after day.

–Aside from work I had book club this week, which was great- lots of good discussion on Room with a View. It’s a great book club with a wide variety of participants. I feel priviliged to be a member and to know these girls.
I also had institute (kind of like Sunday School class), voice lessons, my cake decorating class, saw Slumdog Millionaire for the 2nd time (so great!), saw a play at Hale Theater (so great!), met friends for dinner 3 times, and more. Pretty good for just over one week!

–Oh I also went last Friday to see David Archuleta live with my friend Emily Hancock.  It was a lot of fun.  David is a good singer and it made me feel young going to his concert.   I think I was the only non-chaperon there over 20! Still- that didn’t matter.  In fact, it may have made it even more fun.  My only complaint about the concert was the 2 hours we had to wait for it to start (2 opening acts and 45 minutes of set up time!).  As annoyed I was at the wait, it was still a lot of fun.  I just love concerts so much.  There is an energy to a live performance that I love.

Emily and I at the concert!

–I hope you all had great weeks and are happy. Life is good!

Generation Next February 23, 2009

My sister and I used to joke about when it was we have officially “turned out”?  You know how people always say “she’s turned out well” or “he turned out with lots of problems”.  When do we turn out? When have we officially grown up? According to a recent study done by my Alma mater Brigham Young University the age of achieving adulthood has changed in recent years.  In fact, there is a new term, an “emerging adult”, that is used to describe young adults between the ages of 18-25.  This is like a teenager phase II.

Here’s  a press release from BYU on the topic:

http://byunews.byu.edu/archive07-DEC-adulthood.aspx

I have noticed this phenomenon amongst my fellow young adults.  It does seem like people my age are still searching for their roles and motivations when in the past they would have been forced into them- or at least in the past young people wouldn’t have thought of other options.

When I look around at many of my contemporaries I notice this trend and some of the negative sides.  There are  more “emerging adults” than I would like to admit who are 25ish and are still finishing their bachelors degree, undecided on their career and living at home- just kind of directionless.  This has always been hard for me to understand as I have been the opposite.  You can even see it in recent films by Will Farrell and Seth Rogan about older men who behave like children or teenagers at best.  It is like the frat boy mentality never dies.  It is seen in girls also but harder to put into words.  I think girls are more likely to develop peer groups like the ones exemplified in Sex and the City to replace the need for traditional female roles.  This lack of motivation is the negative side of the “emerging adult” phenomenon.

On the other hand,  I do not think this trend is necessarily a bad thing. In fact, many of the articles and studies on the topic found some positive benefits to the new behavior of young adults.  For instance, there is a new closeness between young adults and parents that didn’t exist in past eras.   There is also a commitment to family, careers, and goals once they are made that may not have existed in previous generations. Perhaps we wait because we value the commitments of adulthood not the other way around?

Another benefit is that the “emerging adults” typically have a broader exposure to different cultures, families, philosophies and lifestyles.  They tend to be more diverse and well-rounded as a result. Regardless of how you view such a  change it is important to recognize that it has occurred and then we can look at the pluses and minuses.  At the very least it makes me feel better about being single- evidently there are a lot of other young adults out there around my age who are unattached and independent like myself!

It all reminds me of a book I LOVE called Urban Tribes by Ethan Watters.  It made me feel validated and I read it with a highlighter and a notepad.  It just spoke to me.  For the first time someone was actually saying that by being single and forming groups of friends I might actually be showing my commitment to family instead of schlepping my life away.  I also liked the way that Watters asked society to look through a new lens- that maybe there were negative aspects to a new trend but let’s at least analyze it for what it is and not what it isn’t.  These groups of Urban Tribes (or emerging adults) are changing America in lots of ways and its hard to appreciate those changes if we do not acknowledge their existence.  I will do an entire entry later on that book. I loved it so much! I will be very curious for your thoughts on this subject. Do you think this trend “emerging adults” is a good thing, bad thing, neither?  Look at this interesting NPR article:

Generation Next’ in the Slow Lane to Adulthood

by Patti Neighmond

December 20, 2007 · Recent studies find interesting differences among today’s young people compared with those of decades past. There’s even a new term for the generation age 18 to 25: Generation Next. And a new label for this period of development: “emerging adulthood.”

Jeffrey Arnett, a developmental psychologist at Clark University, coined the term “emerging adult.” Arnett says a number of cultural changes over the past five decades created this lengthened path to adulthood.

“Go back 50 years, the median age of marriage for women was 20; for men, 22. And they likely had their first child within one year,” Arnett says.

Back in 1960, Arnett says, most people in their early 20s had chosen a life partner, finished their education and were in a stable job if they were male; full-time mothers if they were female.

But none of that exists today, Arnett says.

“Now, if you heard of somebody 19 to 20 years old planning to get married, you’d think they were crazy,” Arnett says. “It’s so unusual now to do that. The average age for women to marry is 26, and for men, 27 and a half.”

Colin Herron, 21, is a senior at George Washington University. Lindsay Tingley, 23, is a law student at Wake Forest University. Herron and Tingley pretty much reflect the thinking of their generation.

“I’m not feeling like I’m in any rush,” Tingley says. “I think people get married a lot older these days and they have kids a lot later these days, and I know that I, myself, want to have a career. I don’t see myself getting married for another, I don’t know, three to four years. Three to six sounds good.”

When asked if they feel like adults, Tingley says what most 20-somethings say: yes and no.

“I do have a roommate down at school. I feel independent in that way. I have to make sure my rent gets paid and I buy my own groceries, take care of my car, feel like I have adult relationships. I’m responsible for getting my work turned in and staying on top of things, so in that way, I do,” Tingley says.

But complete financial autonomy? No way. Tingley receives financial help from her parents and from school loans.

“I don’t know a lot about investing, and I feel like at my age, that’s something that I should really start learning about,” Tingley says. “I certainly wouldn’t know how to buy my own house at this point.”

Herron says that the fact that he’s in school leaves him dependent on his parents.

“Because I have strings attached as far as school goes — loans and how I’m paying for school — that’s kind of what’s keeping me from entering adulthood,” Herron says.

And school is the other part of what Arnett calls the “quiet revolution.” The number of early 20-somethings in college has doubled over the past five decades. Today, there are more women than men attending college. Attending graduate school is more common, also, thereby increasing the length of time people spend preparing for adulthood.

Developmental psychologist Larry Nelson of Brigham Young University recently completed a study that appears in December’s Journal of Family Psychology. Nelson surveyed 392 unmarried college students and at least one of their parents.

“We wanted to know if parents considered their child —18 to 26 years old — adult or not,” Nelson explains. “Over 80 percent of mothers and fathers said, ‘No. They are not yet an adult.’”

It’s not just financial ties. These young people are also emotionally close to their parents.

“We have a really great relationship,” Tingley says. “We’re really close. You know, I don’t talk to them about everything, but I feel I could if I wanted to.”

Herron agrees. “There’s certainly a security net in the sense of an emotional security net. I know that they’re there. They certainly have let me know as long as I can remember that they will be there as long as they’re alive for whatever I need.”

A recent survey from the Pew Research Center shows eight out of 10 young people surveyed had talked to their parents in the past day. Nearly three in four said they see their parents at least once a week.

What does it add up to? A generation that’s closely connected to family. And one that’s taking its time to figure out the future, which, according to Arnett, isn’t such a bad thing.

“Once you take on adult responsibilities, you’re going to have them for life. So, why not take this time in your 20s to do the sort of things you couldn’t do before and never will be able to do again?” he says. “Once you get married and have kids and have a long-term employer, you can’t just leave them because something interesting comes along. But in your 20s, you can.”

And much of this time experimenting with life is balanced on the other end, Arnett says, by a lifespan that continues to rise.

“I say, more power to them.”

Happy Valentines Day February 15, 2009

These are some of the people I love

To all my friends and family-Happy Valentines Day! I hope you all had nice days. I had a very fun day with my good friend Melissa Noyes. We went to lunch, shopping and to the movies (we saw He’s Not that Into You, which I liked- don’t listen to the reviews!).

On a day of love let me say a few things about what love means to me. Love is a tear when we depart, it is the adrenaline on first seeing one another after parting, it is the forgiving kiss of a child, it is a hug from a grandfather, it is a phone call just when I needed one, it is a moment of clarity and self worth, it is a prayer answered, it is sweetness and purity, it is sexy and exciting.  It is all of these things and more. It cannot be summarized or put into words. It just is and we all know it when we feel it. Don’t we all live for that feeling? I do. I will flat out admit I have never been in love with a man but that doesn’t mean I haven’t felt love or know what it means. No, no, I know and that is why I know it is worth the wait.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

I will end with my two favorite summaries of love.

The first is from Shakespeare’s 116 Sonnet-

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose Worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks;

But bears it out even to the edge of doom:

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved

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The second is from Corinthians.  It uses the word charity, which means Godly love.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge;

And though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not;

Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth

Inspiration Boards February 5, 2009

Hey everyone! Thanks for making my last post my most visited yet! I guess doing longer posts pay off. Well, this a shorter one, so maybe no one will read it but oh well.
I have been busy getting things back to normal at my apartment and job. It has been crazy trying to get reservations made and also be ready for a handwarmer event this Saturday. By the way, I have gotten 13 reservations since I have been home- not bad! They only got 1 while I was gone. That certainly makes a girl feel indespensible.

I have taken a little bit of time this week to finish one project I call my inspiration boards. One of them is for “work” and one for “pleasure”. What I mean by that is they large are cork boards that I loaded with pictures, sayings, jokes- all kinds of things. The work one is all beautiful things that will hopefully inspire me to be creative, think differently, and work my hardest. It is right above my desk. The other one is on the other side of my bedroom next to my dresser and TV. It has photos of family, friends, sayings I like, my hobbies etc. Here they are. Feel free to steel my idea if you like. I love, love, love them!

On another random note, if you have not started watching the new and improved season of Masterpiece Theater (now called Masterpiece) start.  It has been amazing.  I just finished their newest version of Wuthering Heights and it is fantastic- even though it is not my favorite story I loved the production and performances.  They also did the complete Jane Austen with new series tellings of Sense and Sensibility, Pursuasion, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey and Emma.  The only one that they didn’t redo is Pride and Prejudice- probably because the Collin Firth version is a classic.  They also did a Tess of the Dubervilles which was great and I LOVED the recent miniseries Cranford (I have yet to not love Elizabeth Gaskell in any form).  All of these titles are available on DVD and probably at your library.  I cannot recommend them enough.  Wonderful!

this is the work board. It has fashion, flowers, rooms, design, colors, all things I think are beautiful

This is the personal board. It has my goals, sayings I like, family, my travels, friends and just things (and people!) I think are beautiful.

The last two weeks- Mexico, Cali and a surprise at the end February 2, 2009

It is almost difficult to put into words the last few weeks.  This will no doubt be one of my longer entries.  So much has happened!

Without boring you with a day by day travelogue let me just share some photos and memories.

To begin with my roommates Erika, Nicole and Kizzi were great. They welcomed me as their friend and were good about including me in activities.  I can’t say how grateful I was for their kindness. Here we are looking quite pretty- if I don’t say so myself.  That’s Nicole, me, Erika and Kizzi.

During the cruise we had 3 days at sea and 3 days at port.  We visited Puerta Vaerta, Mazatlan and Cabo San Lucas.  There were also 2 formal days on the boat including on my birthday! (How perfect is that!).   The picture above is actually from formal day #2.  My roommate Erika did my hair and Nicole had just about everyone we saw sing happy birthday to me.  In fact, it was funny because the people in Cabo finding about my birthday kept offering me shots.  I could have been quite hammered by the end of that day if I drank!  It was a great birthday.  I felt like a princess all day.  I even had the boat guitarist serenade me with My Girl- all the other girls were jealous!

The most interesting thing about the cruise is that I met people I would never have otherwise.  I was definitely the nerd of the ship.  Its hard to explain but I learned to be a little bit less judgmental- a little more accepting of what I might call “high maintenance” characters.  I had no one else to be friends with and was warmly accepted.  I never want to be judgmental of anyone, and I feel that I am better person as a result of going on this cruise.

In addition, I had to be bold and  introduce myself to new people every second- many times people I felt I had nothing in common with.  I had to find the common ground and make friends.  I also had to be comfortable in my own skin in a new way.  This is something I feel very strongly about.  Everyone should be able to spend time by themselves, pondering, and feel happy with just being alone. I read four books on the cruise alone and wrote in my journal every day.  It was a great opportunity. Plus, it was a lot of fun. Here I am relaxing on the boat.

The ports were my favorite part by a long shot.  In Puerta Vaerta all of my new friends went ziplining but I didn’t want to go, so I signed for an exclusive beach resort excursion.  We went to this beautiful beach resort with the best pool I have ever seen.  (Anyone who knows me understands how much I love pools).  It was amazing.  They had this taco bar that was delicious- as well as a buffet and a restaurant.  The jacuzzi tub was also great.  While soaking in the jacuzzi tub I started talking with some of the resort guests and believe it or not one of them knew my uncle Vernon and had actually seen him as their doctor.  Small world!

Our second port was Mazatlan.  This I also loved. It was cool because my friends ended up getting scooters, and I didn’t want to do that. Instead, I signed up for a trolley tour.  On our second stop I ran into some other friends from the cruise ship who had rented a van.  They had space, so I ended up going with them for the rest of the day.  We went to another resort called El Cid that had an awesome beach. Below are pictures of the resort, beach and my friend Ashley who I hung out with in Mazatlan.

I unfortunately forgot my camera in Mazatlan so I am waiting to get more photos from friends.  Isn’t that pretty though?  Plus, I felt it was a blessing that I was led to people I could spend the day with.  That was great.

The final day at port was Cabo and it was actually my least favorite.  It was fun because it was my birthday, but I hated getting on the water taxis.  They didn’t have a ladder,  so I had to get practically shoved onto the front of the boat.  I ended up getting my arm bruised from banging up against the boat.  That was too bad and kind of embarrassing.  Still, it was fun spending the day with Nicole and the Lover’s Beach was beautiful.  Next time we will have to spend all of our time there. Here is lover’s beach.   Someday I will have to go there with someone I love!

I just love the ocean so much.  I have yet to go to a beach I haven’t loved.  I hope someday I can live by the beach. It is a fantasy of mine.  I love everything about it- the sound, the swimming, the sun, the feel of the sand.  It’s just heaven.

I had a great time on the cruise; however, I don’t know if I will go on one again.  The ports were great but the days at sea were a little bit more of a drag.  Still fun, but not quite as much fun.  A cruise feels like a casino/night club all the time, and if you don’t drink or gamble you are excluded from a lot of the supposed “fun”.  I did get a manicure and pedicure one day and we went to karaoke 3 nights but that gets old after a while.  I think I would rather just go down to one of the resorts with a group of friends.  They were amazing and so reasonable.  It would be fun for like spring break with friends.  Anyone interested?

So in the end I loved the cruise.  It was a great experience all around.  I challenge any of you to challenge yourself.  Try something new, make new friends, step out of your comfort zone, and I know you will find it to be as rewarding as I did. The other nice thing about the cruise is that for one week I was email/cell phone/tv and internet free.  I am kind of an addict when it comes to these technologies and it was nice to know I did not need them.  It was also nice to have a conversation with someone without hearing “oh sorry, I have to take this call…”.  It was the first vacation I have taken in years without a computer and it was great. I am glad that I do not need those things to have a good time.

Once I finished the cruise I met up with my friend Raelene Bradley.  I stayed with her family for 4 days and had a great time.   I also got to see my former roommate Emily Alvillar Whitman and I meet her baby and husband (they are fantastic, such a great family).  It was funny going from a huge group of singles, to hanging out with my married friends.  It feels like a different world, but equally wonderful.  Seeing both groups helped me remember that there are many ways to be a good Latterday Saint.  It’s funny because the world would group us all as the same- all Mormons- but in reality we are very different and live a huge variety of lifestyles.

One of the highlights of visiting with Raelene was going to Hollywood and Santa Monica.  I have never seen these sights and it was fun to finally do it.  I know how hard it is to do stuff with a baby and I am grateful for Raelene and Jordan for taking the time to give me the tours.  It was great spending time with Raelene.  She is one of my favorite people. After spending a week with strangers it was nice to see people that I have a history with as well.

On Thursday I said goodbye to Raelene and family, and I thought I was going home; however, I wouldn’t have believed what was coming up!  Because I was traveling on a free coupon I had gained from volunteering my seat last April in Hawaii (volunteering means you give up your seat on an overbooked flight in return for usually a free ticket).  I volunteered twice last year and I do it whenever I can. Because I was using the free ticket I had to connect through San Francisco.  Originally I was annoyed by this but it ended up being great.  After arriving in San Francisco my flight to Utah announced they needed volunteers.  I immediately offered to do it and it was accepted.  I thought I would be going on the next flight at 7 pm (3 hours).  I worked for most of the three hours but had a good time waiting.  Then 7 pm came along and they asked for volunteers again!  I asked if I could do it twice in one day and they said sure!  I called Megan and she agreed to come pick me up, so I volunteered again- that’s 2 free plane tickets in about 3 hours! Not to shabby!  It was very exciting. Plus, I got to spend the entire day with Megan, Seth and my adorable nieces.  I was surprised how much fun I had in only a day visit.  It made me want to come again for a long weekend or just a couple of days.  In some ways a shorter trip is more fun because it is less pressure for all involved.

So, now I am home and back in my apartment.  It really does feel like coming home.  As much as I love vacationing (and am not looking forward to the stress of this week..) it is still great to be home and away from my suitcase.  I am so fortunate to have the opportunity to travel but I am also greatly blessed by wonderful friends who love and support me and a life that I love.  Isn’t that great- I love my life.  I love my family, my friends, my apartment, my job, my faith, and my whole life.

Getting Ready for a Cruise January 13, 2009

I don’t know if I have mentioned it on this blog but I am going to have an interesting experience next week- I am going on a singles cruise!  Being that I live alone and work primarily alone the opportunities for me to meet new people are few and far between (plus, my ward has a 3 to 1 ratio and nearly 200 people!).  A friend of mine went on the singles cruise a couple of years ago and really liked it (ironically she was engaged when she set sail!). Anyway, I got an email from the Sandy institute (institute is kind of like LDS  Sunday school for youth) announcing the 2009 cruise.  This year the cruise happened to land on my birthday week.  Yes, I am turning 28 in a week.  I know it is only a year older than 27 but for some reason it feels much older to me.  It’s like I can feel 30 breathing down my neck.  You know next June is my 10 year high school reunion!  Crazy!

The other benefit to the cruise is how affordable it is- 6 nights for $512! In addition, I had a free airline ticket because I had volunteered my seat when I flew to Hawaii in April.  This means I can go on a long trip for very little.  I might spend less on the cruise than I do in my regular life! The other advantage is that it gives me the opportunity to see my friends in Southern Cali. I am going to spend 4 days with my friend Raelene after the cruise and I will get to see my good friend Emily (and I will get to see her newbaby- yeah!). I love getting together with old friends and reminiscing.  It is the best!

It will probably be a long time before I get to blog again but I wanted to write about this upcoming cruise.  It is interesting because on one hand I am excited but on the other I am a little nervous.  I think it is easy to think that as soon as I leave the world is going to fall apart.  How is everything with the properties and my other work going to get done if I am not here? I wish I could have the European sensibility of vacation as a right- as an essential part of life.  In Europe they close down for siestas and take weeks off at a time every year.  In America we see it more as a luxury, even a burden at times.  Do you’all ever feel that way?  This cruise is especially scary because I will be uncontactable for most of the time.  I will not have my normal crutches of internet and cell phones. I am not even going to bring my computer!  I am giving it to Jim and my dad who are going to take over my work while I am gone. I haven’t been on a trip without my computer since my trip to Japan in 2005 because before this job I needed it for school and other responsibilities.  It is going to be very weird and kind of scary.

On the other hand, I think this exhile is the part of the vacation I am looking forward to the most.  I am treating this cruise as a spa week, and I hope I will emerge energized and rejuvenated.  I have had so much sickness lately and I want to get healthy so badly.  I need an opportunity to become %100 well.  I also need some time to think back on the last year- think of the growth, learning and mistakes I made.  2008 was a year of healing for me and it is appropriate that I have some time at the beginning of 2009 to digest those experiences and make it a year of growth and strength.

Plus, who knows I could meet someone nice…stranger things have happened on a singles cruise!  There are over 160 LDS singles going (don’t know the guy/girl ratio but that doesn’t matter too much).   I just want to meet someone that I can talk to.  Someone I think is interesting and has a good heart.  I also greatly value education and responsibility.  I want someone that has direction, motivation, and inspiration in life.  Is this too much to ask? Sometimes it feel that way.  When it comes down to it, I want to fall in love.  I want the butterfly’s and the excitement, and I don’t think I should settle for anything less.  Is he going to be perfect?- of course not; but I still think I should be in love with the boy! I know the church doesn’t believe in fate, but my opinion is that while there may not be one person in the world for me, I don’t think there are hundreds floating out there.  I think there are a select few people in the world that I could actually be married to and be happy.  Really it is amazing as many people get together as do.  The chances are out of this world, but somehow it happens. Maybe someday it will happen to me.  Until then I will enjoy my cruise and try to put the nerves out of my head!  Any suggestions or thoughts on this post are most welcome.  I may not be writing again for a little while. We will see.  Bon Voyage!

2008 in Review December 27, 2008

2008 has been a great year.  I have learned so much and had so many amazing experiences.  It has been a year of healing and growth, and I am imeasurably stronger as a result.  It all started last December with my taking the big leap of faith and quiting my job at JWA.  I knew I needed  a change and that the Lord wanted me to be doing something else, so I left everything in His hands.  Not knowing where life was taking me I entered the job hunt- interviewing for nearly 40 companies over 6 months.   There were so many jobs that I thought for sure I would get and then I wouldn’t.  The Lord definitely made me wait and show my faith before helping everything to work out.

To celebrate the end of 2007 Camille, Sarah, Aly and I got a room in the SLC Marriott. It was so fun!

In the meantime, I had some great experiences such as hanging out with Julia Graves for a week in January (it was so fun, we visited almost all of our comps and mission presidents.  A blast). I wish I could find a picture of our time together but I can’t.  Maybe Julia has some that I can get.   At the end of January I visited my sister Megan for a week at Stanford.  It was a lot of fun to be a part of their amazing family for a week. Their girls are the cutest things in the world.

I also had tons of fun with my roommates Megan and Camille.  In addition, I was a full time student until the end of March taking 2 classes for most of that time period so I could finish quickly.  In May I gratefully graduated! I am now a masters of business- yeah!

Jodi and I at graduation

Before graduating I experienced another highlight of the year.  In April Megan, Sarah, Hiedi, Camille and myself all went to Hawaii again.  It was a magical trip.  I was there for 2 solid weeks and was the best. I could be there forever.  I love it so much.  I love everything about it except the plane flight over!  This time we did everything- of course the beach everyday, went to the PCC twice, Pearl Harbor, and even saw the lei’s being made in Chinatown. I am planning a return trip in 2009.  I just love it so much!

Here we are enjoying snorkeling at Hanama Bay. Amazing.(L to R) Megan, Camille, Hiedi, Me, and Sarah

Once we got home from Hawaii and graduation came things jumped into high gear.  In May my dad approached me with an idea to start a vacation rental business with these rentals that he had in the Suncrest community of Draper.  I didn’t know if it was for me but I wasn’t getting anything else, so I figured- why not?  In the end, I decided to start my own business Catalyst Events and Marketing with the crux of the business being the marketing and upkeep of the vacation rentals.  For all intensive purposes I am a property manager where I handle the online marketing, the reservations process, maintenance, check in’s and check out’s etc.  I didnt’ know what to expect going into it but have enjoyed it.  Sometimes it can be stressful when we are getting a home ready for occupancy but every job has moments like that.  On a whole I love it and I have especially enjoyed working with my Dad and Uncle Jim.  I think we have all grown closer from the experience.  I think most of all I enjoy the autonomy of the job. I have a lot of control over my schedule and I do a variety of things.  It’s a job that uses all of my skillsets- my website design, marketing, salesmanship, organization and even my manual labor skills on occasion.

In addition to the vacation rentals I have also been working for GPG (Grabber Performance Group) as the leader of the West Warm Team.  We go to events around Utah and give out free hand warmers and promote the product.  I hope to be doing more of these types of events as the Winter months come up.

Finally, I am trying to add some events to my job but this takes time.  It may be several years before I get that part of my business up and running.  In the meantime, I am doing what I can every couple of months to build up my portfolio.  If anyone is willing to take a chance on me, I will work for cheap!

Most of the summer I was involved with getting this company up and running (and getting all of the houses ready!).   We didn’t know what to expect with the rentals but we have been almost fully booked since we opened in June.  We have had over 50 groups with amazing variety and sizes!  Check out our website for photos of al of the homes including our new house- The Sammy.www.jbjane.com.

The view from my apartment

During the summer I also made the change of moving into my new apartment.  It was a hard step for me because I loved my roommates, Megan and Camille, and I was nervous about living alone for the first time.  My apartment has only one bedroom but it is perfect for me.  It has been a lot of fun putting up  my artwork and photos.  I really have made it my home and hope that I don’t have to move for some time.  I just love it.  I have missed living with someone in certain ways but on other ways I have loved living alone.  I am lucky that I have a great and loyal group of girlfriends that never allow me to feel that lonely.  It was just the right time for me to get my own place.

Another experience in the summer was the family reunion in July.  The Wagner family does a family reunion every other year and this year we did a short cruise to Ensenada and Catalina Island. It was my first cruise and it was a lot of fun. We also got to go Disneyland with Isabel and Lucy.  Plus, I got to see my bestest friend Raelene Bradley in Southern California.   I always love spending time with family and long-time friends.

Here I am at Ensenada

Isabel and Tigger

Raelene and I at Newport Beach with her little boy (and her husband Jordan taking the photo)

In September I started at a new ward in Draper and that was an interesting experience.  It is harder to make friends without roommates but I am doing the best I can and trying to be friendly.  Luckily it is  nice ward and I have high hopes for the upcoming year.   I have been out of town a lot so it has been hard to make friends there yet.  It always takes time. In September I also took a trip to Cali and “babysat” my siblings while my parents went to Utah.  It was a lot of fun.

In October I was asked to come to Michigan for training on the warm team at GPG.  This gave me the amazing opportunity to visit my mission again for the first time in 3 years.  It was awesome, if a bit surreal. My mission always feels like a dream- like another lifetime- so going back felt a bit like going back into a dream.  Everything was the same but different at the same time.  It warmed my heart to see old friends and to know that I did make a difference with the hard work I put into the great Hoosier state

The finish line at the brickyard. My old stomping grounds!

After Indiana I threw myself into work and loved it more than I can say. With my job and my apartment it seems that I have come full circle in my life.  I still have room to grow but I feel I am the person I want to be, that I am living the life I am meant to live- that Heavenly Father is happy with my choices.  I am making a difference in the world in my own little way.  It feels good.

With October came Halloween and our traditional party.  This year I dressed up as a geisha- wig and all. We had a good time and it was nice to see Camille for the holiday.

My Halloween costume

With all of the travel and work November came quickly and I got to see Megan, Seth and my adorable nieces for Thanksgiving.  Even though we had a lot of illness it was still great to see them and spend time together.  I am so excited for Anna to come out here to school next year. I miss having my sisters nearby.

The cute nieces. I love them! My brother's little girl is also super cute!

December came quickly and I enjoyed setting up my tree and making my apartment festive.  Thanks to all who came to my party.  It was a lot of fun.  We were busy working getting our 4th house opened for tenants on December 23rd.   The work was exacerbated by all of the snow.  There were moments when I didn’t think I would be able to finish it all but somehow we did! Now we have 4 beautiful homes to rent out and make people’s stay unforgetable.  We help people make memories.

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago I ended 2008 with some travel.  December 14-18th I visited Julia Graves in Vegas.  We had a fun trip even with the snow! Yes, snow in Vegas.  They haven’t had snow there in like 30 years!  Go figure that it would come for my stay. It was great spending time with Julia, with the highlight going to see Mamma Mia at the Mandalay Bay casino.  So great!

Mamma Mia was amazing!

Finally, I am sitting at my parent’s home in California. It is always nice to take a break from the world and enjoy  my family.  They are such a support to me, and I am grateful for all they do for me.  I am truly blessed.

When I think back on 2008, I see a year of growth and strength.  I started it unsure and confused about my role in the world.  For a while I had no job, no apartment, and no relationship (still working on that last one!).   Thanks to the support of family and friends I have gained a career that I love, finished my education and found an apartment that feels like home.  It was been quite the journey!  Along the way, my testimony has grown and become much stronger.  I know that Heavenly Father has an active role in my life (at least he does if I let him).  My existence is important and while He might test my faith from time-to-time He never forgets about me.  My life matters and if I have faith in Him, I can do amazing things.

I know that the Lord loves me.  I know that He sent His Son, Jesus Christ, to die for me.  He is there for me in my lonely, confused hours.  He never forgets, never abandones, never leaves without answers.  His plan is real, His church is true and I know that while my life may not be perfect, it is guided by His light each day.  I am so grateful for that knowledge and for  a year where that testimony has become solid as it never was before.  It was a year never to be forgotten.  Thank you all for being a part of it.  God bless and have a great 2009!