In God We Trust July 19, 2009

About the Constitutional Convention Benjamin Franklin said:

“I must own I have so much faith in the general government of the world by Providence that I can hardly conceive a transaction of such momentous importance to the welfare of millions now existing, and to exist in the posterity of a great nation, should be suffered to pass without being in some degree influenced, guided, and governed by that omnipotent, omnipresent, and beneficent Ruler.”

How quickly we have moved from this foundation of faith to denying God’s influence in almost everything we do- the exact opposite of what Founder’s like Franklin believed.  In my opinion, the further this nation gets from God the harder it will be to invoke His power and influence as we seek to govern.

The article below makes me sad in so many ways….

Atheists sue to keep ‘In God We Trust’ off Capitol Visitor Center

WASHINGTON — A California Republican congressman wants to do a little writing on the walls of Washington’s newest federal building. If Rep. Dan Lungren gets his way, Congress will spend nearly $100,000 to engrave the words “In God We Trust ” and the Pledge of Allegiance in prominent spots at the Capitol Visitor Center .

Lungren’s proposal drew only a whimper of opposition last week when the House of Representatives voted 410-8 to approve it. Now, however, Lungren finds himself tussling with a national atheists and agnostics group.

The Wisconsin -based Freedom From Religion Foundation Inc. sued this week to stop the engraving, accusing Lungren of trying to force his religious beliefs on as many as 15 percent of all U.S. adults. That comprises “atheists, agnostics, skeptics and freethinkers, none of whom possess a belief in a god,” according to the lawsuit.

“It really is a Judeo-Christian endorsement by our government, and so Lungren is wrong,” said Dan Barker of Madison, Wis. , a co-president of the foundation. “Lungren and others are pro-religious, and they want to actually use the machinery of government to promote their particular private religious views. That is unconstitutional, and that’s what we’re asking the court to decide.”

The Senate has approved a similar plan introduced by Republican Sen. Jim DeMint of South Carolina . The congressional directive orders the Capitol architect to make the changes in the design of the $621 million center, which opened last December.

The Freedom From Religion Foundation , which has 13,500 members, sued in U.S. District Court in Wisconsin . It alleges that Congress is trying to make belief in God synonymous with citizenship and “discouraging nonbelief” among Americans, a contention that Lungren rejects.

Lungren said that the phrase “In God We Trust ” had a long history and was consistent with the beliefs of America’s founding fathers. He also said that the Declaration of Independence referred to rights given by a creator.

Lungren, a former California attorney general, said that while the proposed engravings incorporated religious references, they didn’t violate the Constitution.

“What we’re doing is making a specific historical reference to the beginnings of this republic,” he said. “To ignore this or to forbid this statement or something like it to appear is to distort history. . . . We’re not trying to change history. We’re trying to enshrine history in the Capitol Visitor Center .”

Barker said history was better left to others.

“It’s not the job of our government and our government buildings to do that,” he said. “Historians can point out that many of our founders were indeed religious. But saying ‘In God We Trust’ in the visitors center of the Capitol is not just some historical reference. It’s actually government speaking for all of us Americans.”

Barker said the foundation had been waiting for the right case to challenge “In God We Trust .” He said government actions could be challenged on state-church grounds if they had specific religious agendas. In this case, he said, backers of Lungren’s plan have provided “the smoking guns” by giving specific, overt religious reasons for doing the engraving.

Barker said that atheists regarded the phrase “In God We Trust ” as rude, uncivil and un-American.

“Tens of millions of really good Americans don’t believe in God,” he said. “In fact, there’s many more nonbelievers than there are Jews, and we wouldn’t think of offending Jews on our national monuments. . . . Why is it wrong to offend a Jewish minority but it’s not wrong to offend those of us who serve in the military and sit on juries but we don’t believe in God?”

He said no hearing had been set.

Lungren is confident that a federal judge will allow the engraving to proceed.

“I never thought I’d see the day when someone would sue to stop us putting in the United States Capitol a statement of the national motto and the Pledge of Allegiance,” he said. “Suggesting that the Pledge of Allegiance and the national motto is un-American in some way — talk about turning ideas on their heads.”

I Love Nice People May 15, 2009

Today I was grateful for happy people! (Even if they might have been a little annoyed inside)

So, I can’t write long but I just wanted to say how grateful I am for kind people who are understanding.  I am especially grateful both personally and professionally today.

It was a stressful day because we had three people checking into the properties, packing up my stuff, did the moving inspection, and finally moved a bunch of stuff into my new place.  It’s a long story but 2 of the houses the Benji and the Anna were rented.  The Benji does not have hot tub.  The Anna does.   Last month we decided to set up a housing swap with a family from Redondo Beach.  Since it was available I scheduled them in the Anna.  A week or so ago we got a call from a group called Signing Times (they do signing DVDs for babies learning sign to communicate early on).  Since they are paying customers I thought I should try to give them the house with the hot tub.  I called the other group and they were willing to make the swap.

So now comes today.  I was preoccupied with packing and as I headed over to sign my contract the swap group called.  Rushing I told them to go to the Anna, and Jim went ahead and checked them in.  I then signed my contract, did the inspection and moved a bunch of stuff in with the help of friends.  As I was eating dinner it hit me I had 2 groups expecting to stay at the Anna, one of them already checked in!  I panicked and called the other group.  I apologized probably 500 times and to my great relief they said “we don’t care which house we stay in”.  A few in the group were a little annoyed but as a whole they were unbelievably understanding.  I don’t know what I would have done if they had not been so great.  One of the ladies kept saying “Life happens!”.

This is a situation where I screwed up.  They would have had every right to be ticked off with me but they chose to be sympathetic.  I realize not everyone is so wonderful.   For a summer in college I worked for a hogi shop that also served teriyaki chicken.  At the beginning of the day we made all of the chicken for the entire day.  Occasionally we would run out of chicken and disappoint customers.  This one day we ran out of chicken and a lady came in wanting to order it.  Instead of ordering something else she proceeded to ream me out, calling me stupid and lazy.  The whole time I kept thinking- “What is going on in your life to make you treat me this way over chicken?”.  It was amazing.  I’ve also had moments on airplanes or in crowded places where people treated me and others like garbage.  It’s far too common.

Suffice it to say I am SO grateful the tenants I messed up today had a much better reaction.  It’s one thing to accept our friends, flaws and all, but when a stranger makes a mistake often it is easier to come unglued.  It reminds me of Jesus’ teachings when He said in Matthew 5 44-47:

But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?

And if ye salute your brethren only, what do ye more than others? do not even the publicans so?

Not that I was an enemy of these people, but I was definitely not their brethren (or sister).  They had every right to be mad at me, but they chose a higher path and for that I am very grateful.   They certainly had more right than the chicken lady and nothing stopped her from unleashing her rage.

On a personal note I also feel grateful for Sunnie Bybee and my home teacher Josh for helping me move today and for whomever comes tomorrow.  Look at the nice note my fellow churchmembers sent out in my behalf:Hey everybody!
We are looking for as many people as possible that would be willing to gain a few extra blessings by helping out Rachel Wagner tomorrow, Saturday May 16th, to move into a new apartment within Adagio. We are all meeting at 13323 S. Pinnacle Point Dr. #3207 @ 11 am! Your help would greatly be appreciated!

Isn’t that nice?  Hopefully people will come!  I am sure they will and for that I am super appreciative.  I am not meaning to toot my own horn but I sacrifice a lot of my time to serving my friends and community, and it is nice to see others willing to serve me when I need it. I certainly can’t move by myself!  So, thanks everyone in advance!  Thanks for being so nice.

Thanks also to the understanding tenants who are the best!

I will update the blog next week and try to have photos of my new place.  I will be in a mad rush to get things unpacked before Hawaii!  Oh Hawaii!  That sounds so wonderful!!! I am all sore and tired, and will be near dead tomorrow.  Ahh I can feel that sun now!

What do you give this woman with a BUMP on her head? May 4, 2009

I had funky but real life scare on Saturday.  What happened is I was working at the houses, tired and sore from cleaning and being on my feet for two days straight.  As a little reward I decided to bring my swimsuit and enjoy the hot tub up at the house.  It was cold and very windy and the hot tub sounded great!

Without even looking at the temperature I jumped right in and the water was around 95 degrees, which is warm but  not hot.  To keep the heat in I decided to only unfold one part of the hot tub cover.  These covers are heavy.  In fact, it is difficult for me to move them at all.

As I was enjoying the hot tub the wind got worse and all of the sudden a huge gust caught the cover and quickly blew the folded half over landing a large blow to the back of my head.  I didn’t see it coming and the punch sent a shock through my body.  I didn’t black out- thank goodness!  If I had I could have drown because I was completely alone at the house.  After a second, I was able to get out of the hot tub and rush inside.  After sitting I changed and then laid down with ice on my head.

For the next few hours I monitored my condition carefully.  I felt a little light headed but it was hard to tell since I had been in hot water, and been tired. Eventually my dad arrived bringing food, which I was able to keep down.  Perhaps I should have gone to the emergency room but I decided to just rest.  If it had been a weekday I probably would have gone to the doctors, and I may still do that tomorrow. We’ll see how I am feeling.

Since the accident I have felt pretty good; although, a fairly strong headache has never completely gone away.  I have a big goose egg on the top of my head and it is tender to the touch but considering what could have happened I feel lucky.  Who would have ever thought that a relaxing hot tub could become so dangerous!

Naturally I have been thinking about it today.  It is sobering to think I could have died or at least have been sent to the hospital.  I am so grateful I was safe and that the Lord was watching out for me- even when I was doing something admittedly stupid.  Sometimes on this blog and in my life I grumble about politics or people that get on my nerves,   I whine about a bad day, I wish things could be easier or better.

In the end I love my life! I know what it feels like to be unhappy- to be depressed.  I have had periods where I felt alone, confused on how I could make things better, and even hopeless.  Getting through such experiences has taught me that I am worthy of a happy, vibrant, wonderful life.  This is my right as a daughter of God.  I do not have to resign to a stupefying existence that I don’t enjoy. I love my family, friends, job, hobbies, interests, entertainment choices, and most importantly my faith. As I said in my Easter post I know that Jesus lives and watches over my life.  He wants me to be happy.  He forgives me for my sins.  He loves me unconditionally.  I am alone a lot in my life but in truth I am never alone because Jesus Christ has never forgotten me.  He is my best friend.  I am so grateful for that.  I am so grateful that He watches out for me and I hope I live my life in a way that He is proud.  As a friend quoted to me the other day “I hope I wake up every day and Satan says ‘man she’s up again!”.

I am so glad that I wasn’t hurt and that I can keep living my wonderful, happy life.  How lucky am I to be happy- really, truly, genuinely happy?  I wish everyone could feel as I do. What a gift!

By the way, thanks for all of the positive feedback on my blog.  It boosts me greatly and is a fun part of my life.   The process has also made me a better writer.  I have now been writing this blog for over a year, and we are at 5,000 hits! Not bad for a single girl from Draper, Utah.  Not bad at all.

Happy Easter! He shall reign forever and ever. April 12, 2009

11 Whatever It Takes

On this Easter Sunday I feel grateful for the many blessings in my life. Above all, I am indebted to Jesus Christ for saving my soul from sin and despair. I am an imperfect person but with Christ I can be forgiven and be made whole.  It took a God of the world, a perfect person to atone for mankind’s sin but that is exactly what Jesus did.  In agony He bled from every pore and hung on the cross, so we could be forgiven.  He felt the anguish of every sin, sorrow and moment of grief ever felt by any human ever.   It’s one of those things which is tough to explain but nevertheless  true.  I have experienced moments where I felt alone and confused- where I felt weighed down by my own sins and shortcomings.  In those moments Jesus Christ has testified to my heart that He is real, He does live, and He did die for me.

It is this knowledge that has helped me move  through difficult times to the happy life I currently lead.  I say this knowing others have faced far worse; however, my challenges were still hard for me to experience.  Part of the reason we have been sent here is to be tested and grow strong- how can we do that without some faith-testing opportunities?  Through it all, the Savior has never forgotten me.  I know that He loves me.  I know He listens to my seemingly small problems.  I know these things because I have prayed and gained confirmation for myself that they are true.  I have felt Jesus Christ’s presence as an active force in my life- purifying, comforting and forgiving me each day.

I can’t tell you what comfort it gives me when the world criticizes my life, my appearance, my faith, to know deep down inside that I am loved- and not loved by just anyone but by the God of the Universe, by Jesus Christ.  I feel privileged to have such knowledge but it is by no means limited to me. All men and women can gain a testimony of the atonement of Jesus Christ through faith, prayer and repentance.   I hope He knows I will do whatever it takes to follow Him.  I love Him and  on this Easter I say with the angels “Ye men of Galilee, why stand ye gazing up into heaven? this same Jesus, which is taken up from you into heaven, shall so come in like manner as ye have seen him go into heaven” (Acts 1:11)

Let’s not stand gazing into heaven- let’s get out there and make a difference.  Whether it is speaking out on faith-based issues,  finding a day a month to serve, calling an old friend, doing an extra load of dishes unasked, smiling when we want to complain, and so much more.  I believe He wants us to look at His example and then “go and do likewise” (Luke 10:37).   None of us can be saved without His sacrifice and resurrection, but we can all be His helpers down here to spread His gospel.  He has asked us to “be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity” (1 Timothy 4:12).  I hope you feel His love in your life.  Your life does matter.  A high price was paid for it.  Let’s try and give back in any small way we can!  He truly shall reign forever and ever! God bless you and thank you for being my friends and reading my blog.  Happy Easter.  Love, Rachel.

The last few days April 5, 2009

It has only been a week or so since I last posted but it has been a very busy time for me. Some highlights are:

- I gave the lesson in the combined priesthood/relief society meeting at church. My ward is large and this was basically a lecture in front of around 200 people! A little scary but exciting as well. I felt the Lord was inspiring me as to what to share. The message was that we as singles can be happy and live a full life. You can also gain a testimony from Heavenly Father that your life matters- no matter your marital status. I talked about 4 key points to a happy gospel centered life:
1. Seek Daily Personal Victories- find little things everyday to be happy about even if it is something small like working out when you don’t feel like it or cooking a good meal when you are tempted to eat out.
2. Live a full life- find things that you have always wanted to do and then set goals to do it. There are few things you can only do when you are married. Living a full life is why I am constantly setting goals, planning trips and taking classes. I am not perfect in this regard but the effort makes me happier.
3. Discover your divine nature and purpose- pray to Heavenly Father and He will tell you of your worth. As Romans says “we are the children of God. And if children, then heirs; heirs of God, and joint-heirs with Christ; if so be that we suffer with him, that we may be also glorified together.” Think about that- we all have the potential to be glorified with Christ. I believe each of has to ask God if He loves us, if we are His children. I also believe He will answer that prayer.
4. Remember “not my will but thine be done”. Jesus Christ set the perfect example of humbling submitting his will to the will of the Father. We all have difficult experiences that seem unfair or unjust. Following the Savior’s example in such instances helps us to find purpose, meaning and to survive happily.

– Anyway, that was my lesson and I felt it went well. It was a nice moment for me to look back at the last few years and to see what I have learned. I could not have given that lesson a year ago, or a year and half ago. You don’t have that many moments of retrospection in life- moments where you can look back and see growth. I was proud of the women I have become while giving that lesson and I realized the many ways I can become better.

– Moving on. The last week has also been a busy week work-wise and in my other activities. I have started cleaning the rental properties and did so 3 times in the last 2 weeks. Yesterday I cleaned for 4 hours and then had to dig my car out of the snow. Needless to say my muscles hurt today! Maybe I should start the cleaning exercise routine? You could do “the scrub the floor”, “the shovel snow” and “the sweep/vacuum”. It seems to be working for me! It is actually quite satisfying to look at messy room, and then work on it and see the clean results. I never thought I would be cleaning houses as part of my job but it certainly beats a desk job. That’s for sure! I will do anything legal to avoid sitting day after day.

–Aside from work I had book club this week, which was great- lots of good discussion on Room with a View. It’s a great book club with a wide variety of participants. I feel priviliged to be a member and to know these girls.
I also had institute (kind of like Sunday School class), voice lessons, my cake decorating class, saw Slumdog Millionaire for the 2nd time (so great!), saw a play at Hale Theater (so great!), met friends for dinner 3 times, and more. Pretty good for just over one week!

–Oh I also went last Friday to see David Archuleta live with my friend Emily Hancock.  It was a lot of fun.  David is a good singer and it made me feel young going to his concert.   I think I was the only non-chaperon there over 20! Still- that didn’t matter.  In fact, it may have made it even more fun.  My only complaint about the concert was the 2 hours we had to wait for it to start (2 opening acts and 45 minutes of set up time!).  As annoyed I was at the wait, it was still a lot of fun.  I just love concerts so much.  There is an energy to a live performance that I love.

Emily and I at the concert!

–I hope you all had great weeks and are happy. Life is good!

Happy Birthday DAD! February 20, 2009

Yesterday was my dear old dad’s birthday. I am so lucky to not only have a father that provided for me but one who has always genuinely loved me. In the last year I have learned a lot about my relationship with my dad. It’s been a great experience.

I have always felt very different from my dad. He’s such an outdoors person, loves camping and being athletic. I, on the other hand, hate camping and am not much of an outdoorsy person. I also love to read and he isn’t a great reader. I like TV and movies, he doesn’t. I love all types of music.  He likes mostly classical. There are lots of things like that.

I used to feel that my entire family was very different from me. I was social, they were more homey. I love the city, they would be happier in a small town. I also used to resent the fact that after I moved away from home my family started gaining interests in many of the things I love including my love of musical theater and singing. Why did this only happen after I left?

That said, over the last year I have worked with my dad on these rental homes. It is really the first project we have ever worked on together. In doing so, I have realized that we work in similar ways. My parents taught me to work hard. I used to complain that my friends didn’t have to do Saturday work or chores and my dad would say “find new friends because in this family we work”! We didn’t grow up on a farm or something but we did work hard. We always had a large garden, which we worked hard to cultivate (much to my youthful chagrin). As I’ve worked with my dad I’ve appreciated his dedication and his positive attitude even when we are stressed out.

One of the things that impresses me the most about my dad is that he almost never comes unglued. I have a lot of moments where I am freaking out and my dad is always a calming influence. Now that I have seen it in work I have also noticed this same influence on our family. He often sets the tone of the night with a joke, a smile or a compliment.

My dad also makes things fun. He was always making up weird jingles for around the house. Like if we were grounded he’d sing “Grounded marked with a cowards bell. What do you do if your grounded and you know your a man!”. My dad gets excited about life- even small things like a new place to develop film, a new dirt bike trip, or a great sandwich. He used to always have his top ten list. He’d say “this is one of the top 10 meals I have ever had”. We would laugh and say “Dad, your top 10 list is a top 1000 by now.” In high school it drove me crazy but I appreciate it now. He’s taught me to live each day with excitement and energy.

My dad is also loyal. In the Mormon church we do something called home and visiting teaching. This is basically a chance for members to visit one another and make sure everyone is OK. My dad has always been an amazing home teacher. He really cares about the people he visits and keeps in touch with them after we move. He even spoke at a former home teachee’s funeral last year. My dad loves people and once that love is earned you have it forever.

My dad also has a good heart. He sometimes can be brutally honest but in the end he wants the best for people. There aren’t very many men in the business world I could describe as guileless. He hates no one- has no enemies.

Another good example my dad and mom have both shown is how to resolve conflict and create a good marriage.  I have never doubted for a second that my parents love each other.  My dad used to say that he was either the smartest or luckiest man on earth for marrying my mom.  I remember at birthdays he used to write letters to my mom about how much he loved her. I don’t remember my parents arguing when I grew up.  I am sure it happened on occassion but nothing that stuck in my mind. My mother had to go on complete bedrest for her final 3 pregnancies.  Each time it was a difficult time for our family.  I love my siblings but I hope they understand the sacrifice that was paid for them to be here. My dad cared for my mother, took both the role of mother and father on, and did all he could to help with the babies after they came.  Not many men would be so loving and caring for a basically invalid spouse.  (I will have to write a separate blog about that experience) My mother has had health problems ever since the last pregnancy and my dad has continued to lift her load often and usually without complaint.  Can you ask for anything more in a marriage partner? If I ever get married I will have a good example in both of my parents.  (My mom’s blog entry will come next month on her birthday).

One last thing I appreciate about my dad.  He accepts me the way I am.  I have never felt any pressure to be a particular type of person, have a particular career or major, or do anything different in my life.  I am a very independent person and if I had parents who had forced me to do things I know I would have rebelled.  They made things my decision and then supported my choices.  This was very wise, and I am grateful for their great parenting.  I had a roommate who’s mother would have dates set up for her when she would go home for holidays.  My parents couldn’t be more different.  I never feel or hear grief about being single.  They are so supportive. When I quit my job last year they were totally supportive. In fact, when I was debating about whether to move into my apartment it was my dad that said “Can you picture yourself happy anywhere else?”  I knew that I couldn’t, so I moved in and have been very happy here.

Most of all I know my dad loves me and I love him back. He was the only person who had faith in my marketing abilities and gave me chance with these rentals. I am so grateful for that. It is a pleasure working with him every day and I hope I am a tenth of the example and friend that he is. I love him very much. Happy Birthday!

This is my favorite picture of my dad with babies Lucy and Olive

Inspiration Boards February 5, 2009

Hey everyone! Thanks for making my last post my most visited yet! I guess doing longer posts pay off. Well, this a shorter one, so maybe no one will read it but oh well.
I have been busy getting things back to normal at my apartment and job. It has been crazy trying to get reservations made and also be ready for a handwarmer event this Saturday. By the way, I have gotten 13 reservations since I have been home- not bad! They only got 1 while I was gone. That certainly makes a girl feel indespensible.

I have taken a little bit of time this week to finish one project I call my inspiration boards. One of them is for “work” and one for “pleasure”. What I mean by that is they large are cork boards that I loaded with pictures, sayings, jokes- all kinds of things. The work one is all beautiful things that will hopefully inspire me to be creative, think differently, and work my hardest. It is right above my desk. The other one is on the other side of my bedroom next to my dresser and TV. It has photos of family, friends, sayings I like, my hobbies etc. Here they are. Feel free to steel my idea if you like. I love, love, love them!

On another random note, if you have not started watching the new and improved season of Masterpiece Theater (now called Masterpiece) start.  It has been amazing.  I just finished their newest version of Wuthering Heights and it is fantastic- even though it is not my favorite story I loved the production and performances.  They also did the complete Jane Austen with new series tellings of Sense and Sensibility, Pursuasion, Mansfield Park, Northanger Abbey and Emma.  The only one that they didn’t redo is Pride and Prejudice- probably because the Collin Firth version is a classic.  They also did a Tess of the Dubervilles which was great and I LOVED the recent miniseries Cranford (I have yet to not love Elizabeth Gaskell in any form).  All of these titles are available on DVD and probably at your library.  I cannot recommend them enough.  Wonderful!

this is the work board. It has fashion, flowers, rooms, design, colors, all things I think are beautiful

This is the personal board. It has my goals, sayings I like, family, my travels, friends and just things (and people!) I think are beautiful.

Paths We Take November 6, 2008

Along with the entire world I sat listening to the words of President Elect Barack Obama with some amazement on Tuesday night.  As I mentioned in my last post, I did not vote for him and there are many policy choices of his that I disagree with; however, I think it would be hard for even the most hardened cynic to not be impressed with the scope of Obama’s victory.  He not only defied conventions as a black man running for president but he is the son of a single mother, from Hawaii.  Somehow he pulled his way through Columbia and Harvard Law School and then instead of picking the career of a pricey Harvard lawyer he worked as a community organizer and then a state senator, a senator and now the president.  It is an impressive journey.  I pray that he will be a successful president and that his policies will help our country solve its many complex problems.  We will see.

Thinking about Obama’s path to the white house has started me thinking about my path to where I’m at in life.  I found out today that my best friend from high school Meredith Goodenough (now Tolley) has just had her 4th child! It’s amazing how at one point her and I were at the same point, on the same basic track.  I remember having conversations with her about wanting to go to college, marriage, and then have children.  She told me rather emphatically that she was not going to get married until her master’s degree was completed. On the other side, everyone assumed that with me going to BYU I would quickly get married and have babies.  It’s interesting how life turns out.  Here I am the one with the masters degree and she’s the one with a hard earned bachelor’s and 4 kids! When I think back to the last 10 years I don’t see a lot of missed opportunities where my life could have turned out differently but I am sure some existed.  It’s like those old Choose Your Own Adventure books (do they still make those?).  One choice and you are coronated as king and queen- another you fall down a volcano to a firery death! Hopefully none of my choices had such dire outcomes but it is interesting to contemplate.  For instance, I wonder what my life would be like if I had given in to pressure and gotten into substance problems in high school.  I have a feeling that my personality would have a hard time fighting such a problem- although I am very independent so you never know.  I wonder if there was ever anybody in my peer group or in my wards that I could have dated or at least been friends with but I missed out on the opportunity? On the other hand, I am sure there are friends that I would not have met if I had taken other paths or not been as bold when meeting new people.

The truth is that while such thoughts are interesting they are not very productive.  We are what we are and I believe what I am is pretty darn good.  I love my current life and aside from not meeting Mr.  Sunshine yet I do feel completely satisified with where I am at socially, mentally, spiritually. I know there is much need for improvement- particularly spiritually but I still feel a sense of contentment and peace with my life. I also believe that my Heavenly Father guides my choices and that if I listen to His promptings I will be where I need to be, when I need to be there, helping who I need to help.  In truth, my life is not like the Choose Your Own Adventure because I have a guide telling me which choices will lead to the coronation and which end in the volcano.  This guidance is real- even in the small things.  For instance, the other day I was yearning for a bookclub.  In desparation I decided to check craigslist to see if there were any advertised.  To my luck, one was just starting, so I joined and have been to a couple sessions (even hosted one in my apartment!).  It was a simple choice but already it has helped me make some good friends that I never would have met in any other way.  There are so many other examples I could list of experiences I have had because I took a risk, made a daring choice or had the guts to meet someone new.  I only hope that I will continue to be bold and make the kind of choices my Heavenly Father wants me to make. Then I can look back at life and not have any regrets.  I look back on my mission and college with no regrets, and I hope I can do the same for my entire life- knowing I have made good choices and repented for the bad ones.  This is what I want in life.

As the poet says:

Growing old
is a privilege denied
to many…

Never leave behind regrets

Do any of you have thoughts on your path in life? How you got to where you are? Here’s a Dilbert I thought was funny concerning 2 different lifestyle choices! Enjoy!

Visiting Indiana October 17, 2008

It is now Thursday October 16th and I have been home since Sunday from my business/mission trip that I took last week.  I meant to update my blog much sooner about the recent goings on but it has been go-go-go ever since I got back.  I often say that I need 2 or 3 days off after traveling in order to recover.  Sadly it was not the case. I don’t know how my father is able to function with all of his travel.  It’s exhausting!

That said- I had a great trip.  The first part of it was in Michigan where I was trained on how to set up our warmer booth at various events.  I learned more about the types of warmers we carry, and the history of the product-along with the type of salesmanship that works at warm team events. On the whole, it was a good trip and my first business trip was a success! I still can’t believe I am old enough to go on a business trip.  How did this happen?

Once I was finished with work on Thursday, I drove to my first area on the mission-Angola Indiana.  To drive into a location that formed so much of my character was a weird sensation.  It was on one hand underwhelming to see through common eyes and on the other completely overwhelming because of the memories that came pouring with each street, store and site. The whole time I was in Indiana I felt like I was in a museum of my life. All these artifacts that would mean nothing to others made me well over in tears. It’s an odd and overwhelming experience to try and go back in the past.

While I was touring the mission I listened to a radio program about blogging and the woman being interviewed said that in her blog she “tries to only tell my story”.  In other words, don’t bring in the life stories of others so that you can protect their privacy.  I understand what she was saying but the task seems impossible.  How can I write an authentic portrayal of my life without including the stories of those who touch me? I only hope every mention of others in my blog is complimentary if not glowing with praise. I will certainly remove anything if asked.

With that understanding let me tell a little about the people I saw in Indiana.  Starting with Angola, I stayed with Sister Bork (still hard for me to call her Jackie.  It’s how I was raised).  She was a great host, and I enjoyed reconnecting with her.  I hope that my visit provided some comfort and companionship (even if for only 2 nights) during a tough time in her life.  She is a great lady who saved me from starving on many occasions on my mission.   We used to specifically tract around her house because we knew we could count on her for a cup of cocoa or a meal if we didn’t have a dinner.  There was one night I particularly remember where we had tracted all day in the snow.  It was hard work, and we were starving.  We stopped at the Borks, and we must have looked like quite the site!  Sister Bork was making breakfast for dinner and we wolfed everything down.  I think I ate 4 or 5 fried eggs, toast, hashbrowns, and more!

This is the first house I lived in on my mission. It is such a shack! How did I live there for 6 months!

You see, that is the type of small memory that flooded my mind around every corner in Indiana.  It was emotional and amazing. It’s hard to describe in words.

In Angola I also had the treat of seeing others from the branch, getting an update on everyone and particularly seeing my friend Sarah Garner who was my rock on the mission.  She has a sweetness and sincerity that I admire.  I just wish she could understand how great she is. If you are reading this Sarah- it is true!

Finally, I got the privilege of seeing a family I taught in Angola named the Aronens. Since they had changed their emails, I had not kept in touch the way I would have liked.  It was so great to see them and again it brought back every memory of each discussion.  It meant a lot to me that they still had the photo of Sister Servito and I with their girls on their living room wall.  I know they have many struggles but it warms my heart to know they are thinking of me along the way.  It was good to hear they are active and doing great.  Their girls are so big. I can hardly believe it.  Regina is in 6th grade!  Wow! They are a family that I feel I was meant to find and teach the gospel to.  That is a great feeling to know and it’s something I carry with me when I am struggling.  One of the ways I know that the Lord loves me is because he let me help the Aronen’s find the gospel.

This is Regina and Brianna

Melody Aronen

Moving on to Indianapolis (which by the way- I thought I might remember how to get around places, and I didn’t recognize one building! Not one street! Good thing I rented  a GPS unit.  Saved my life!).  I arrived on Saturday morning and was greeted by Sister Leonard whose home I lived in during my 6 months in Indy. It turns out I was lucky to see her, as she has been out of town for the last 2 months, and is going out of town again in a couple of weeks.  It was great to reconnect and reminisce.  So much has changed in her life and in the life of the ward since I left.  There is a whole new stake, and I hardly recognized anyone at church.

At Sister Leonards I went down into the sister’s basement apartment and again was flooded by memories.  I thought of Sister Graves sleeping on a bed on the floor as happy as can be.  I thought of Sister Livingston doing sit-ups while reading the scriptures and eating an apple (she’s got a gift for multitasking).  I thought of Sister Hathaway struggling over her lessons each day.  More than that, however, I thought of the time on my knees I had spent in that little apartment.  The times I had poured my heart out to the Lord trying to have the energy to work hard and love the people- trying to get the answers for investigators and then thanking the Lord when they would come.  I also couldn’t help but remember the struggles- the sore feet, the canceled appointments, the squabbles with companions.  All of those memories are part of the story of my mission and they are special, even sacred.

Our little basement apartment at Sister Leonards house

Sister Leonard and I. She helped me and so many sisters feel loved and at home on the mission.

Being in that little apartment made me want to be a better person.  On my mission I was such a visible servant of the Lord.  Every day I had a clear purpose. I know we have that each day as normal members but it isn’t quite the same.  Nevertheless, I want to do better, be better, live with more of an attitude of service. I want to make sure I am where the Lord needs me, when He needs me.

One last comment- I think it is easy to feel that our little lives don’t make much of a difference in the world. I sometimes wonder if I should be braver, more bold.  In Indiana I realized that I do make a difference- that I do matter.  There was one experience in Indianapolis when my companions and I felt prompted to visit a lady who had been having marital problems.  To be more blunt she was being abused.  At the time, we debated about whether visiting a member was the best use of our time (the elder’s had been riding us about not spending time with members) but we felt prompted to go and see her.  When we got to her house her husband had been arrested and  taken away.  This was a big step for her, and we helped her through the night until we had to leave.  I have thought about that moment and wondered what ever happened to the woman.  Well, on Sunday I got to see her, and she told me something that made me cry- no weep.  She said that when she is sad or lonely she thinks of that moment and knows that the Lord loves her.  When I heard that I was beyond words.  It amazes me to know that my attempt to serve helps someone years later to feel of the Lord’s love.

I am so grateful that we listened and am grateful to the Lord for letting me know that my service as a missionary mattered. I cry now just thinking of it. It was like a giant hug from my Heavenly Father. I am so comforted by the knowledge that what I do each day is important to the Lord- more than that- what I do is guided by the Lord.  What a humbling thought that is.  That moment was worth the whole trip, and I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving it to me.

In closing, visiting my mission was a wonderful experience.  My mission was a wonderful experience. Life is a wonderful experience.  I just hope that I can be the type of person I was as a missionary- living a life guided by the Lord, full of His grace and goodness.  It will not be easy,my mission wasn’t easy, but as the cliche goes- it was and is worth it.

The woman we helped and her daughter.

The speedway track. I did the full tour this time

Winner Winner!

The finish line. Tradition is to kiss the bricks after you win.

Conference October 6, 2008

For those of you that are LDS we have all enjoyed our semi-annual general conference, the final session ending this afternoon.  Despite being sick I took notes and learned much.  Each general authority that spoke did so with authority and comfort.  It’s like hearing advice from an old friend that loves you.  At least that’s how I felt.  A couple of talks that particularly stuck out to me were Elder’s Holland, Hales, Wirthlin, and Uchtdorf and of course President Monson.  It is Elder Hales’ message that I would like to mention in this blog. He spoke about defending criticisms of our faith both as a church and as individual followers.  Instead of responding to criticism in defensive ways, he taught us to follow Christ’s example and love those that hate us:

“When we respond to our accusers as the Savior did, we not only become more Christ-like, we invite others to feel his love and follow him as well,” Elder Hales said.

Elder Hales even said that sometimes these criticisms can be helpful by their attracting attention to the church, which then often leads to teaching moments.

I thought this was a beautiful message, and one that I want to exemplify more fully.  I have always been very independent and don’t like to be criticized or told what I should be doing in my life.  While I don’t think we should be doormats for people, there is a way to be bold without being defensive.  Elder Hales said that the spirit would dictate which response is appropriate.  Just as the savior responded in a different way to Nicodemus than he did to the moneychangers in the temple, we will know what is the best response for the different people in our lives.

I actually don’t have many in my life who directly criticize my church membership but often I hear hurtful things through the media and my initial response is to be defensive.  This is something I would like to work on.

I believe Elder Hales’ message also applies to criticism and feedback in general.  Even in my work, I have always had a hard time with criticism and although I think I have grown over the years, it still is something I can improve upon.

One cool thing I noticed in Elder Hales’ talk is that he mentioned using blogs to spread the gospel!  That made me feel good!  In that vein, let me state to all of you that I do have a testimony of the Mormon church and its current prophet President Thomas Monson.  I feel such a tremendous spirit when I hear him speak.  I also have a testimony of the Book of Mormon and know that it is a true book.  I know this because I have prayed about it and the spirit has confirmed to me that it is true.  I love reading that book. It is my sincerest desire to serve my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ in any way I can including trying my best each day to be obedient to His teachings.  I also have a strong testimony in eternal temple ordinances and am grateful that the pain of grief can be assuaged by the knowledge of eternal covenants and families. I thank each of you for your love and support and know that much of this testimony can be attributed to the righteous influences each of you have showered in my life and heart.  God bless. In the name of Jesus Christ Amen.