Last Chance Harvey May 9, 2009

If any of you haven’t seen Last Chance Harvey- see it. It’s great. Wonderful. Dustin Hoffman and Emma Thompson (who can do no wrong in my book) are both terrific in this gentle romance. They play Harvey and Kate- two mature adults who meet each other by chance in an airport in London.  Harvey is an American who is there to see his only daughter be married.  Kate works at the airport as a customer service representative.  When they meet Harvey has just missed his flight, been fired from his disappointing job and his daughter has chosen her stepfather to give her away at the wedding.  On the other side, Kate is single and has resigned herself to a mediocre life of work and caring for her mother.  Neither characters are happy or fulfilled. When they meet they are both at lows, which actually gives them a lot in common with each other.  As they get to know one another a sweet and simple romance develops.  It reminded me of the old school romances of Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant.

I don’t want you to think it is only a date movie or a chick flick; although it is excellent in both regards. It is also an interesting movie about work, family, happiness and taking risks.  I guess Emma Thompson and Dustin Hoffman decided to make the movie while filming one of my all time favorite films Stranger than Fiction- also a great movie about work, happiness, and taking risks.  Perhaps Fiction is slightly better than this but I loved both.

There is a line where Emma Thompson says:

“You see, what I think is I am more comfortable with being disappointed. I think I am angry with you for trying to take that away.”

Isn’t that a powerful idea? How many of us live a shallow life because it is safe, comfortable, or easy? I am a very risk-averse person and it is hard for me to jump into the unknown. While I have little experience with romance, I can imagine one of the hardest parts is trusting your heart to another human being who might break it. The thing that the character’s realize is that each of us give our lives to something whether it be work, art, family, friends, or love. We might as well give it up for something that has the greatest potential for happiness.
Another thing the characters realize is they have allowed their life choices and their definition of happiness to be defined by others. Emma Thompson has a particular moment of clarity I appreciated while on a blind date. Her friends basically trick her into this date with a person she has nothing in common with and doesn’t enjoy. In fact, it feels like her mother and friends have turned her love life into their hobby- like a giant guessing game. It’s funny because she doesn’t say anything but just looks around and realizes this is not the life she wants. I related to this moment. Not because my friends set me up but I have had moments of clarity where I realized my life was on the wrong track- that I wasn’t living the life I was meant to live.
I don’t believe in fate, but I don’t believe in coincidences either. I feel we all have a unique purpose in life that requires us to interact with particular people. I felt this sense of connection with others on my mission. There were people I know I was supposed to help, supposed to find. While not everything has this type of purpose, almost everything can be used by the Lord to further His plan.
In Last Chance Harvey the characters discover their own unhappiness but at the same time learn how much they need each other.
I don’t know if I have done the movie justice but I just loved it. It’s interesting because I also saw Ghost of Girlfriends Past- a supposed romantic comedy that was anything but romantic. What a contrast on every level! In Ghost the acting was bad, the characters were unbelievable , and the writers had the nerve to destroy one of the best books ever written- the Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.  There is no comparison between the two.

I hope you all go out and rent Last Chance Harvey and I hope you like it as much as me. Post your reviews in the comment section of the blog. Enjoy!

Affluenza March 20, 2009

So, I heard a term today that just made me laugh out loud.  It is called affluenza.  This is not a joke.  It is an actual psychological diagnosable condition and to me it says a lot about how out of wack our society has gotten.  How can something so obvious be a cause for debate and study? It’s another one of those scientific endeavors that can be summed up in old colloquial sayings such as “Money doesn’t buy happiness”.  Listen to the wikipedia definition of affluenza and tell me if you don’t think it is crazy:

affluenza, n. a painful, contagious, socially transmitted condition of overload, debt, anxiety and waste resulting from the dogged pursuit of more. (de Graaf ^[1])

affluenza, n. 1. The bloated, sluggish and unfulfilled feeling that results from efforts to keep up with the Joneses. 2. An epidemic of stress, overwork, waste and indebtedness caused by the pursuit of the American Dream. 3. An unsustainable addiction to economic growth. (PBS [1])

This isn’t just overspending.  No it is a contagious socially transmitted condition of overload and debt! So now if we are in debt it isn’t our fault, merely the cause of a contagious condition we inherited- like strepp or AIDS. Watch out my friends!  Watch out for your children!  Affluenza may spread!

I certainly hope that Congress doesn’t hear about this condition or they might start claiming bouts of affluenza caused them to vote for the spending bill!

I hate to sound preachy on this blog but to me it is things like this that show how far off track our country has gotten from the religious foundations it was started with.  Affluenza wouldn’t happen if you had a society based on brotherhood (and sisterhood), charity, freedom, independence and faith.  It’s no accident that Jesus said ” It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God” (Matthew 19:24).

Now, I came from a family with a middle to high class lifestyle.  I certainly got everything I needed and most of the things I wanted. However, we never suffered from affluenza because my parents had us grounded in Christian values- focusing on service to others, the importance of family and the value of hard work. I could list lots of examples of how my parents demonstrated to me that money was not the purpose of life.  One example is how my father has always been an avid home teacher.  Home teaching is a program in our church of visiting fellow members and helping them in anyway possible.  Many good home teachers still do it out of obligations or duty- not my dad.  He loves it!  He loves getting to know and serving people and most of them become his life-long friends.  He’s even spoken at some of their funerals. For the record, my mother is also a diligent visiting teacher.

Another example is how both of my parents were always opening their home to friends.  For instance, we had a number of foreign exchange students and visitors while I grew up.  This enriched all of our lives and created great relationships all over the globe.  Another memory I have is of our friends always being welcome to eat with our family.  We had family meal every night.  Even when I was in high school and my parents had two little ones and I was busy with activities, I still remember eating together most nights.  Often one of my friends, or my brother’s friends would join us for dinner.  They were always welcomed as one of our family.  My parents weren’t perfect but in simple ways they taught me how to serve others and keep a heart free from greed.

As my sister and brother have gotten married they have also been good examples of reaching out to others and cultivating a non-materialistic home.  My brother is passionate about many causes and has allowed friends to stay at their home, sharing meals together.  My sister is great about giving of her time to other young mothers around her.  She was just telling me yesterday about a small act of service she had planned for two of her acquaintances.  She found out they were traveling with kids and decided to make them little kits to help the kids with the journey.  It is such little acts of service that keep each of us grounded in what matters.  Our country needs the same grounding.  We certainly don’t need an excuse for our excesses like an affluenza epidemic.

I served my mission in Indiana and while there I met one of the richest ladies I have ever known.  Her name is Sister Mary Turner.  She lived in a tough part of Indianapolis and had very little material possessions.  She actually lived off of social security and some welfare assistance from the church.  Because she loved the missionaries she had a strong desire to feed all of us every week (4 elders, 2 sisters) but she refused to use any assistance or welfare money to do this.  So to make a few extra dollars she started gathering soda pop cans and then turning them for cash. Eventually her neighborhood and our ward (congregation) joined in and everyone had a stash of cans to help Mary Turner feed the missionaries.  With the few dollars she got every week she would then go to Aldee’s (a discount store in the midwest) and buy whatever was on sale.  This usually led to some odd meal combinations including spaghetti and mashed potatoes or french fries and egg rolls.  After the meal she would usually have some type of food gift for us such as a gallon of milk or a half gallon of ice cream.

I will never forget this sacrifice made in my behalf.  She did not have to feed us.  There were others who would have gladly done so, but she wanted to give to a cause she loved.  The entire cycle of her money from creation, to spending, to giving was based on Christian values. It is a great example of charity and a wonderful way to live our lives- full of worry about how you can afford to help people, not how you can compete with the neighbors.  Mary Turner suffered from the opposite of affluenza- giveluenza! Something our country could use a lot more of and that our leaders could work to develop.

In my life I try to do at least one day of community service a month.  This has just started but already I have had some neat experiences including delivering cookies to the lonely and working at Festival of Trees for Primary Children Medical Center. Such endeavors have not only brought me happiness but hopefully helped others in my small way.  They also keep me grounded in what matters and in the community I love. I think we need to write a similar prescription for anyone suffering from affluenza- find someone to serve, look at a neigbor as a friend not an enemy, and help someone accomplish their dreams.   This is what makes life great not money!

Happy Birthday Mom March 10, 2009

“I remember my mother’s prayers and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life.” — Abraham Lincoln (1809-1865)

A few weeks ago I did an entry on my dad for his birthday.  Now it is my mother’s turn for today is her birthday.  Its almost hard for me to write on my mom without it sounding too effusive.  Simply put, she was born to be a mother.  It is her gift.  She’s a natural nurturer- patient, kind and understanding.  Naturally it took me a while to appreciate all she did for me but now I marvel. Some of the specific things I love about my mom are:

1. She is always there for me.  My mom has 6 kids, which is a daunting number by most standards but these 6 range in age from 30 to 9.  Such an age gap requires my mother to balance the needs of older children with kids, single me, a teenager in high school, a middle school aged boy and a young girl.  Not every mother could multitask her mothering as well as my mom does.  Even though I am very independent I still need the care of my mother.   I am so grateful that we talk almost daily on the phone and visit whenever we can.  The greatest thing is that my mom doesn’t make me feel that the time she spends on me is a sacrifice even though I know it often is.  It might be something as simple as asking her about a recipe or a laundry tip, but I appreciate that she is there for me whenever I need it.

A perfect example of my mom’s help and loving nature occurred last December.  It was the day before our tenants were to arrive at our new house.  I was growing increasingly stressed out because a snow storm was preventing furniture movers, cleaners and other people from arriving at the house.  I had a picture of the people arriving at the house without furniture in a construction zone.  By 4:30 I had all I could take, and I called my mom in tears.  Whatever it was she was doing, she dropped it and helped me calm down.  With the help of my dad and mom, we solved the problem and everything worked out. Not everyone has someone to turn to when they are stressed out, and I am grateful for such a blessing in my life.

2. She actually enjoys her children.  This has always been a great trait of my mother.  When other mom’s were counting down the days for summer vacation to end my mom was sad.  She not only loves her kids but genuinely has fun with them.  When I have exciting news, a funny story or a meet a cute guy, the first person I want to tell is my mom.  We used to tease her that she couldn’t tell a joke or a story to save her life but that never stopped her from making the effort!  Both my parents have always set an example  on how to enjoy life- how to accept who you are and gain pleasure from whatever phase you are in.  They are not worriers, moping about looking for pity.  They are happy with their life’s and taught me to conquer challenges while still remaining happy. I have particularly noticed this trait lately as it seems many unhappy people often surround me- people that are miserable with their station in life.  My mother is great at enjoying the journey of life.

3. She is always learning.  My mother has the intellect to be a college professor, a senator, or any other educated profession; however, she decided to be a mother. Defying stereotypes of the soap opera watching housewife, my mom has always been a self-learner.  My whole life she has been up-to-date on current events  in practically every field.  In addition, she is well-read in philosophy, literature, political theory, horticulture, the arts and every other topic.  It took years in college before I took a class that my mother was not only familiar with but well-versed and informed- sometimes more so than my professors.  When we used to get sick, my mother was the first one to the library (or now the internet) researching the condition, quickly becoming a mini-expert.

She was also  great at creating learning experiences for her children.  I remember going on walks and her pointing out trees, bugs, or birds and then describing something interesting about them- how they live, grow, what colors they become etc.  In college I would often call my mother and go over material with her because I knew if I could explain it to her than I knew I understood the topic  well enough for a test.  On such calls the emphasis was always on what I was learning, not on the grade (both my parents have never been grade-focused, which I am grateful for). I used to think all mothers were like this but have since learned to appreciate the emphasis my mom made on learning and improving oneself.

4. She is always sacrificing.  When I was 10 my mother announced to us that she was pregnant.  As excited as we were, pregnancy meant she  would have to go on full bed-rest.  She underwent this trial two more times- making almost 2 1/2 years of my mother’s life in bedrest (not including what she had for us older kids). I can’t even imagine how difficult this must have been.  It was hard enough for our whole family, but it must have been a nightmare for my mother.  It’s one thing to sit in bed when you are ill but for most of the pregnancies my mom felt fine, yet she still had to sit day and night.  This type of sacrifice is emblematic of the way my mother has lived her life- always thinking of others needs ahead of her own comfort.  She has given countless hours of her life caring for new babies, working on school projects with us, making costumes for school plays,  babysitting grandkids, cooking meals, and making traditions special for her family.  In today’s society we seem to think there has to be an equal link between work and rewards.  The sense of sacrifice previous societies accepted has practically gone away- except with my mom.

5. She is a wonderful nurturer.  Again, when I was growing up I thought all mothers were like my mom- warm, kind, sympathetic.  I have learned that she is special.  She knows how to comfort a crying eye- even at the age of 28! She listens better than anyone I know, and she does it while doing a hundred other things.  Her and my dad would read to us every night growing up and then we would say prayers together.  Rituals like these are all about comfort and love for children.  My mother is wonderful at such things.

6. She is patient.  When I was in high school I felt different from my entire family, including my mom.  Thankfully I never really rebelled, but I am sure there were plenty of moments where she was frustrated with my attitude.  I think the reason I didn’t rebel is because my parents were patient with me . They gave me the space to be myself- to figure out what I wanted.  I have never felt that my parents had preconceived notions of who I was to become or what my life is supposed to be like.  They have just let me be me and accepted that.  Such growth requires patience on the part of parents, and my mother is the ultimate example.

It really is hard to write about my mom and make it sound adequate.  Let me just say- she is wonderful and I love her.  I could not have been more blessed. I don’t have any pictures of my mom by herself (probably because she was busy preparing a meal or taking care of a kid!). Here is one of my mom and dad with my newest niece Nelle Lloyd.

“By and large, mothers and housewives are the only workers who do not have regular time off. They are the great vacationless class.” — Anne Morrow Lindbergh

“I looked on child rearing not only as a work of love and duty but as a profession that was fully as interesting and challenging as any honorable profession in the world and one that demanded the best I could bring to it.” — Rose Kennedy

“My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her.” — George Washington (1732-1799)

Generation Next February 23, 2009

My sister and I used to joke about when it was we have officially “turned out”?  You know how people always say “she’s turned out well” or “he turned out with lots of problems”.  When do we turn out? When have we officially grown up? According to a recent study done by my Alma mater Brigham Young University the age of achieving adulthood has changed in recent years.  In fact, there is a new term, an “emerging adult”, that is used to describe young adults between the ages of 18-25.  This is like a teenager phase II.

Here’s  a press release from BYU on the topic:

http://byunews.byu.edu/archive07-DEC-adulthood.aspx

I have noticed this phenomenon amongst my fellow young adults.  It does seem like people my age are still searching for their roles and motivations when in the past they would have been forced into them- or at least in the past young people wouldn’t have thought of other options.

When I look around at many of my contemporaries I notice this trend and some of the negative sides.  There are  more “emerging adults” than I would like to admit who are 25ish and are still finishing their bachelors degree, undecided on their career and living at home- just kind of directionless.  This has always been hard for me to understand as I have been the opposite.  You can even see it in recent films by Will Farrell and Seth Rogan about older men who behave like children or teenagers at best.  It is like the frat boy mentality never dies.  It is seen in girls also but harder to put into words.  I think girls are more likely to develop peer groups like the ones exemplified in Sex and the City to replace the need for traditional female roles.  This lack of motivation is the negative side of the “emerging adult” phenomenon.

On the other hand,  I do not think this trend is necessarily a bad thing. In fact, many of the articles and studies on the topic found some positive benefits to the new behavior of young adults.  For instance, there is a new closeness between young adults and parents that didn’t exist in past eras.   There is also a commitment to family, careers, and goals once they are made that may not have existed in previous generations. Perhaps we wait because we value the commitments of adulthood not the other way around?

Another benefit is that the “emerging adults” typically have a broader exposure to different cultures, families, philosophies and lifestyles.  They tend to be more diverse and well-rounded as a result. Regardless of how you view such a  change it is important to recognize that it has occurred and then we can look at the pluses and minuses.  At the very least it makes me feel better about being single- evidently there are a lot of other young adults out there around my age who are unattached and independent like myself!

It all reminds me of a book I LOVE called Urban Tribes by Ethan Watters.  It made me feel validated and I read it with a highlighter and a notepad.  It just spoke to me.  For the first time someone was actually saying that by being single and forming groups of friends I might actually be showing my commitment to family instead of schlepping my life away.  I also liked the way that Watters asked society to look through a new lens- that maybe there were negative aspects to a new trend but let’s at least analyze it for what it is and not what it isn’t.  These groups of Urban Tribes (or emerging adults) are changing America in lots of ways and its hard to appreciate those changes if we do not acknowledge their existence.  I will do an entire entry later on that book. I loved it so much! I will be very curious for your thoughts on this subject. Do you think this trend “emerging adults” is a good thing, bad thing, neither?  Look at this interesting NPR article:

Generation Next’ in the Slow Lane to Adulthood

by Patti Neighmond

December 20, 2007 · Recent studies find interesting differences among today’s young people compared with those of decades past. There’s even a new term for the generation age 18 to 25: Generation Next. And a new label for this period of development: “emerging adulthood.”

Jeffrey Arnett, a developmental psychologist at Clark University, coined the term “emerging adult.” Arnett says a number of cultural changes over the past five decades created this lengthened path to adulthood.

“Go back 50 years, the median age of marriage for women was 20; for men, 22. And they likely had their first child within one year,” Arnett says.

Back in 1960, Arnett says, most people in their early 20s had chosen a life partner, finished their education and were in a stable job if they were male; full-time mothers if they were female.

But none of that exists today, Arnett says.

“Now, if you heard of somebody 19 to 20 years old planning to get married, you’d think they were crazy,” Arnett says. “It’s so unusual now to do that. The average age for women to marry is 26, and for men, 27 and a half.”

Colin Herron, 21, is a senior at George Washington University. Lindsay Tingley, 23, is a law student at Wake Forest University. Herron and Tingley pretty much reflect the thinking of their generation.

“I’m not feeling like I’m in any rush,” Tingley says. “I think people get married a lot older these days and they have kids a lot later these days, and I know that I, myself, want to have a career. I don’t see myself getting married for another, I don’t know, three to four years. Three to six sounds good.”

When asked if they feel like adults, Tingley says what most 20-somethings say: yes and no.

“I do have a roommate down at school. I feel independent in that way. I have to make sure my rent gets paid and I buy my own groceries, take care of my car, feel like I have adult relationships. I’m responsible for getting my work turned in and staying on top of things, so in that way, I do,” Tingley says.

But complete financial autonomy? No way. Tingley receives financial help from her parents and from school loans.

“I don’t know a lot about investing, and I feel like at my age, that’s something that I should really start learning about,” Tingley says. “I certainly wouldn’t know how to buy my own house at this point.”

Herron says that the fact that he’s in school leaves him dependent on his parents.

“Because I have strings attached as far as school goes — loans and how I’m paying for school — that’s kind of what’s keeping me from entering adulthood,” Herron says.

And school is the other part of what Arnett calls the “quiet revolution.” The number of early 20-somethings in college has doubled over the past five decades. Today, there are more women than men attending college. Attending graduate school is more common, also, thereby increasing the length of time people spend preparing for adulthood.

Developmental psychologist Larry Nelson of Brigham Young University recently completed a study that appears in December’s Journal of Family Psychology. Nelson surveyed 392 unmarried college students and at least one of their parents.

“We wanted to know if parents considered their child —18 to 26 years old — adult or not,” Nelson explains. “Over 80 percent of mothers and fathers said, ‘No. They are not yet an adult.’”

It’s not just financial ties. These young people are also emotionally close to their parents.

“We have a really great relationship,” Tingley says. “We’re really close. You know, I don’t talk to them about everything, but I feel I could if I wanted to.”

Herron agrees. “There’s certainly a security net in the sense of an emotional security net. I know that they’re there. They certainly have let me know as long as I can remember that they will be there as long as they’re alive for whatever I need.”

A recent survey from the Pew Research Center shows eight out of 10 young people surveyed had talked to their parents in the past day. Nearly three in four said they see their parents at least once a week.

What does it add up to? A generation that’s closely connected to family. And one that’s taking its time to figure out the future, which, according to Arnett, isn’t such a bad thing.

“Once you take on adult responsibilities, you’re going to have them for life. So, why not take this time in your 20s to do the sort of things you couldn’t do before and never will be able to do again?” he says. “Once you get married and have kids and have a long-term employer, you can’t just leave them because something interesting comes along. But in your 20s, you can.”

And much of this time experimenting with life is balanced on the other end, Arnett says, by a lifespan that continues to rise.

“I say, more power to them.”

Happy Birthday DAD! February 20, 2009

Yesterday was my dear old dad’s birthday. I am so lucky to not only have a father that provided for me but one who has always genuinely loved me. In the last year I have learned a lot about my relationship with my dad. It’s been a great experience.

I have always felt very different from my dad. He’s such an outdoors person, loves camping and being athletic. I, on the other hand, hate camping and am not much of an outdoorsy person. I also love to read and he isn’t a great reader. I like TV and movies, he doesn’t. I love all types of music.  He likes mostly classical. There are lots of things like that.

I used to feel that my entire family was very different from me. I was social, they were more homey. I love the city, they would be happier in a small town. I also used to resent the fact that after I moved away from home my family started gaining interests in many of the things I love including my love of musical theater and singing. Why did this only happen after I left?

That said, over the last year I have worked with my dad on these rental homes. It is really the first project we have ever worked on together. In doing so, I have realized that we work in similar ways. My parents taught me to work hard. I used to complain that my friends didn’t have to do Saturday work or chores and my dad would say “find new friends because in this family we work”! We didn’t grow up on a farm or something but we did work hard. We always had a large garden, which we worked hard to cultivate (much to my youthful chagrin). As I’ve worked with my dad I’ve appreciated his dedication and his positive attitude even when we are stressed out.

One of the things that impresses me the most about my dad is that he almost never comes unglued. I have a lot of moments where I am freaking out and my dad is always a calming influence. Now that I have seen it in work I have also noticed this same influence on our family. He often sets the tone of the night with a joke, a smile or a compliment.

My dad also makes things fun. He was always making up weird jingles for around the house. Like if we were grounded he’d sing “Grounded marked with a cowards bell. What do you do if your grounded and you know your a man!”. My dad gets excited about life- even small things like a new place to develop film, a new dirt bike trip, or a great sandwich. He used to always have his top ten list. He’d say “this is one of the top 10 meals I have ever had”. We would laugh and say “Dad, your top 10 list is a top 1000 by now.” In high school it drove me crazy but I appreciate it now. He’s taught me to live each day with excitement and energy.

My dad is also loyal. In the Mormon church we do something called home and visiting teaching. This is basically a chance for members to visit one another and make sure everyone is OK. My dad has always been an amazing home teacher. He really cares about the people he visits and keeps in touch with them after we move. He even spoke at a former home teachee’s funeral last year. My dad loves people and once that love is earned you have it forever.

My dad also has a good heart. He sometimes can be brutally honest but in the end he wants the best for people. There aren’t very many men in the business world I could describe as guileless. He hates no one- has no enemies.

Another good example my dad and mom have both shown is how to resolve conflict and create a good marriage.  I have never doubted for a second that my parents love each other.  My dad used to say that he was either the smartest or luckiest man on earth for marrying my mom.  I remember at birthdays he used to write letters to my mom about how much he loved her. I don’t remember my parents arguing when I grew up.  I am sure it happened on occassion but nothing that stuck in my mind. My mother had to go on complete bedrest for her final 3 pregnancies.  Each time it was a difficult time for our family.  I love my siblings but I hope they understand the sacrifice that was paid for them to be here. My dad cared for my mother, took both the role of mother and father on, and did all he could to help with the babies after they came.  Not many men would be so loving and caring for a basically invalid spouse.  (I will have to write a separate blog about that experience) My mother has had health problems ever since the last pregnancy and my dad has continued to lift her load often and usually without complaint.  Can you ask for anything more in a marriage partner? If I ever get married I will have a good example in both of my parents.  (My mom’s blog entry will come next month on her birthday).

One last thing I appreciate about my dad.  He accepts me the way I am.  I have never felt any pressure to be a particular type of person, have a particular career or major, or do anything different in my life.  I am a very independent person and if I had parents who had forced me to do things I know I would have rebelled.  They made things my decision and then supported my choices.  This was very wise, and I am grateful for their great parenting.  I had a roommate who’s mother would have dates set up for her when she would go home for holidays.  My parents couldn’t be more different.  I never feel or hear grief about being single.  They are so supportive. When I quit my job last year they were totally supportive. In fact, when I was debating about whether to move into my apartment it was my dad that said “Can you picture yourself happy anywhere else?”  I knew that I couldn’t, so I moved in and have been very happy here.

Most of all I know my dad loves me and I love him back. He was the only person who had faith in my marketing abilities and gave me chance with these rentals. I am so grateful for that. It is a pleasure working with him every day and I hope I am a tenth of the example and friend that he is. I love him very much. Happy Birthday!

This is my favorite picture of my dad with babies Lucy and Olive

Happy Valentines Day February 15, 2009

These are some of the people I love

To all my friends and family-Happy Valentines Day! I hope you all had nice days. I had a very fun day with my good friend Melissa Noyes. We went to lunch, shopping and to the movies (we saw He’s Not that Into You, which I liked- don’t listen to the reviews!).

On a day of love let me say a few things about what love means to me. Love is a tear when we depart, it is the adrenaline on first seeing one another after parting, it is the forgiving kiss of a child, it is a hug from a grandfather, it is a phone call just when I needed one, it is a moment of clarity and self worth, it is a prayer answered, it is sweetness and purity, it is sexy and exciting.  It is all of these things and more. It cannot be summarized or put into words. It just is and we all know it when we feel it. Don’t we all live for that feeling? I do. I will flat out admit I have never been in love with a man but that doesn’t mean I haven’t felt love or know what it means. No, no, I know and that is why I know it is worth the wait.

———————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

I will end with my two favorite summaries of love.

The first is from Shakespeare’s 116 Sonnet-

Let me not to the marriage of true minds

Admit impediments. Love is not love

Which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:

O no! it is an ever-fixed mark

That looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose Worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.

Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks

Within his bending sickle’s compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks;

But bears it out even to the edge of doom:

If this be error and upon me proved,

I never writ, nor no man ever loved

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The second is from Corinthians.  It uses the word charity, which means Godly love.

Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge;

And though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.

And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not;

Charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Charity never faileth