Blissful Days of Nothingness September 12, 2009

“Take rest; a field that has rested gives a beautiful crop.” Ovid

Today is what Saturdays are made for- cleaning a messy home, organizing one’s life and resting from a long week.  It honestly has felt like a month packed into a weeks time.  As I have no doubt many of you are tired of hearing, my work-life has been exhausting lately.  Every day, including weekends, has been jammed packed with vacation rentals, long-term tenants, new homes to manage, sales tax to work on, events to coordinate and more.  I may be exaggerating a bit but it feels months ago in Hawaii that I last enjoyed a  relaxing Saturday. I am not even going out with friends tonight- and to be honest I am kind of glad.  I love my friends but today all I needed was time to myself.

I used to take Saturday’s for granted but lately I have realized it is an essential day for a stress-free happy life.  As much as I am uplifted by a Sunday, in some ways Saturday is more restful (less meetings and things to do!).  The perfect Saturday consists of three essential things:

1. Organizing/Cleaning Home- My parents will probably sit mouth agape once they read this because I hated “Saturday work” growing up.  Every week we had assignments for Saturday that were above our normal daily jobs such as scrubbing all the wood floors, cleaning the car, organizing the pantry, cleaning all the bathrooms etc.  These jobs usually took the majority of the morning to complete and sometimes went into the entire day.  My least favorite task was tending for my mother’s garden.  Even now, I would rather do just about anything over gardening (I detest weeding, planting, pruning, mowing).  I’ve always been a bit of a princess and gardening is just too dirty, smelly, sweaty and miserable! It’s funny because my parents love it.  Even when my mom was pregnant in bed my dad kept up our massive garden at the  Maryland house.  He decided that we were going to set up a farm stand for selling tomatoes (clearly he didn’t understand his own children.  No way we were selling tomatoes on some stand!).  We ended up with 36 tomato plants and hundreds of pieces of fruit.  A friend helped us to can a good chunk of it but the rest Megan put on a red wagon and wheeled around the neighborhood giving them away!

Nevertheless, I still appreciate a Saturday that is free enough for me to clean the kitchen, vacuum, organize my room, and make my life feel organized.  With the flexibility of my schedule I can often get such projects done during the week but it is less stressful to have a large block of time to devote.  Maybe it is being raised on “Saturday work” but nothing seems as productive as a Saturday morning that I can dedicate to cleaning and organizing.  For instance, this morning I scrubbed the kitchen down including the floor and stove, did the dishes and vacuumed throughout the apartment.  It only took me an hour or two but it made such a difference in the feel and vibes of the apartment.  It feels less cluttered and stressful. I love that feeling!

Other tasks are often done on Saturday’s such as laundry, buying groceries, and other shopping.  These are fine, but I am glad to be inside today with nothing to do.   Especially laundry- I hate doing laundry.  I avoid ironing like a disease.  I find it the most tedious of tasks.  I would much rather be scrubbing floors or cleaning bathrooms. I guess laundry and gardening are my least favorite jobs.

2.  Relaxing- There is something about relax time on Saturday’s that makes such a difference.  I swear if I do not get a restful Saturday the entire week suffers.  Even if I take time off on Monday it doesn’t seem to have the same effect.  Sometimes relaxation includes my friends and family but other times it is just me.  I love days like today where I get to exercise, nap, write my blog, watch some tv, and read.  I love all of it! I need it to be happy.  If I do not get a restful Saturday than my Sunday’s particularly suffer- it is so hard to stay alert and attentive at church and in my other meetings.  My dad has always had a hard time staying awake at church and I understand why- he was always working hard on Saturday.

I have felt so tired lately.  I even worried I might have mono but the doctor said it was just a combination of stress, allergies and asthma.  It is so great to be rejuvenated and alive!

3. Entertainment- As is clear from this blog I appreciate many different kinds of entertainment- movies, books, television, theater etc.  A Saturday just doesn’t feel complete without a tiny taste of something entertaining- something to smile and laugh at.  I love going to the movies with friends, seeing a play, going to a good restaurant, or lounging at home with blanket and popcorn while watching TV.  It’s all great and essential to feeling ready for the upcoming week.

It’s not really entertainment but I also love doing service on Saturdays including attending the temple whenever I can.  Next week I am scheduled to help clean our church and in the Winter I plan on volunteering for Festival of Trees again.  Today I thought long and hard about going to the tea party in Salt Lake, but I decided I just couldn’t do it.  I needed the relaxation time more urgently than the political activism.  Next time I will attend!  I am so glad to see the crowds in Washington DC!  Woohoo!

So, that is my defense of my lazy Saturday.  It has been a joyous, lovely day.  I hope you all enjoy similar days and weekends.  Life is good…

Labor Day- Work September 7, 2009

This Sunday I was asked to read a quote by President Dieter F.  Uchtdorf of the the First Presidency of my church. He says:

“May I invite you to rise to the great potential within you.  But don’t reach beyond your capacity.  Don’t set goals beyond your capacity to achieve.  Don’t feel guilty or dwell on thoughts of failure.  Don’t compare yourself with others.  Do the best you can, and the Lord will provide the rest.  Have faith and confidence in Him and you will see miracles happen in your life and the lives of your loved ones. “

Easier said than done.  Why is this so hard?  At least for me, this is the great challenge of life.  I love my job, but I have always been bad at balancing the demands of work and life.   Especially as my business has begun to change there seems to be an unending number of projects and opportunities.  Just this weekend I got a new client, which is a tremendous chance to improve my standing as a property manager and make some good money along the way.  It is a connection and  opportunity  I need to add more clients besides my father.  As grateful as I am, it is also one more thing to balance in my life.

Right now there are so many things left undone.  I haven’t started real estate courses I’ve paid for.  I haven’t done much on sales tax for Grabber; and I still have tons of work on Grabber events.  That’s just the tip of the iceberg.  There are spaces this fall in the Anna and Madeline to get reserved, a client with 25 homes I would love to work with more, a guest blog I have committed to write and edit, and this new home I need to find tenants for.  I have agreed to all of these projects and I know they will bring in more money and  help my career.  In addition to work I have church responsibilities, temple work, family, and a million creative projects I would love to tackle.   I love entertaining, gathering with friends, cooking, swimming, community service, politics, singing, and reading.  With a few exceptions, I am afraid lately work has been trumping all of these noble endeavors.   I want to be better at balancing my life but I find it very challenging.

  My sister once told me I was a workaholic, and I think there is some truth to that.  I hate unfinished projects.  I think part of it is growing up with a little bit of dyslexia. This made projects and homework more difficult and time consuming than for my friends.  In college, I worked harder than most of my classmates and yet my grades were not as high as I felt they should be. I have a great memory and still recall lectures, books, teachers from college, yet in some of those same classes I scored Cs and Bs.  Isn’t that weird?  I clearly learned the required material and was impacted by it but my grades didn’t show?  This taught me that any assignment, task, job, responsibility I had was going to take twice the work from me as it did for anyone else for the same results.  I am not saying this to engender sympathy.  It’s just the way it is.   Even when I was getting my MBA other students appeared to coast when I spent hours on projects (at least in that case I got the A’s almost  every time for my hard work!).

The hardest thing for me is having true relaxation time.  This is particularly true since I work at home and am never far from the call of my cell phone or the ever present email.  I know there are reservations I have gotten because I was the first to respond and this keeps me constantly checking and rechecking.  Having the phone off for an evening makes me nervous.  In fact, just the other day I turned my phone on silence and missed out on a reservation for our vacation rental that would have been great.  My dad ended up taking the call, so perhaps they would not have agreed to rent with us anyways (if my dad can’t sell it, nobody can.  He’s a great salesman).  My brain is constantly going about how I can make things better, get more sales, satisfy clients and be more of a success.  I have had insomnia for over a year because I can’t stop thinking about work.

I don’t want to sound like I am complaining because one of  my greatest joys in my life is  work.  I love what I do.  I love how it uses all my talents and yet challenges me each day.  I love the people I meet, the freedom I enjoy, the variety of tasks, and flexibility.  I love the relationship I have developed with my dad through this job and feel we are closer than ever before (that is perhaps the greatest gift of my job).  I love feeling like I finally contribute to society in a meaningful way and help make people happy- either on vacation or in their permanent home.  Because I know what it feels like to be unhappy in work, I will do whatever it takes to keep my current job and be a success at it.  Maybe everyone who owns their own company goes through this?  Maybe it is the price to be paid? My dad said when he was self-employed in Maryland that he worked 70 hour work weeks.  He worked from home and worked very hard but it never seemed to be an obsession or over-powering influence on his life.  In fact, he managed to own his own business while my mother was bedridden when she was pregnant with Sammy.  How he was able to do that and remain so outwardly calm and collected I will never know.  It is amazing.

One thing I have to remember is I always find a way to pull things off.   I worry about getting projects done but then I always do.  It’s like with the Grabber Events.  I thought it was going to be impossible to get the calendar submitted by the end of August and yet somehow I made it (September 3rd to be precise)!  It was done and up to my standards.  I worked hard and the Lord did expand my capacity in the month of August, and I am so grateful for His help.

I would love to hear some advice from all of you- especially if you work at home or for yourself- on how you separate work, family, friend and time for yourself?  How do you know when to say no to projects?  How do you not “set goals beyond your capacity to achieve”?    I  don’t even know what my real capacity to achieve is.  I always think I can do more, be more, and make more of a difference. How do you truly relax and feel rejuvenated?  Even today, on this holiday, I feel a pressure to work that is hard to describe.   How do you turn that off?

500 Days of Summer, 100 Posts September 4, 2009

I have exciting news- this is my 100th post!  This means since May of last year I have written a post about every 5 days.  So far there have been 8,700 hits and 233 comments.  I wish there were even more comments, but am thoroughly grateful for the ones I’ve gotten! Thanks everyone.  The blog has turned into one of my favorite hobbies.  I love it!   (by the way, I should have my rightwingchickie guest blog ready tomorrow or Saturday. Just doing some final edits.  I am so excited!).

This week has been a fun week.  It has gone by quickly starting with getting our home, the Sammy, ready for the long term tennants.  This was quite the task with cleaning, gardening, moving furniture and more.  The new tenants came on Tuesday and are thrilled (not that there was any doubt!).  Now I have 2 vacation rentals and 2 long-term rentals.  In addition, today I got a call from a friend of my dad’s wanting me to find tenants for his long-term rental.  The business is growing so fast I can hardly keep up with it, but I am grateful to be busy.  As long as I can continue to work independently and be my own boss then I am happy.  Even with all the stresses and the never-ending work, the idea of going back to a regular job makes me nauseated.  I hope it never happens.

Once Tuesday was over (and the long days getting the house ready) I got to work Wednesday on my events calendar for Grabber warmers.  I have a booth and a warm team van I take to events all around Utah, and I had to get the calendar ready for my supervisor to approve.  It has been next to impossible to get this calendar ready by the end of the August (so I missed it by 3 days, it counts), but somehow I squeezed it in and it is done! Isn’t it the best feeling when a project is finished? Especially one you doubted your ability to complete?  It is the best!

With all this work you might wonder if I had any fun this week.  Fortunately last month I planned a long overdue Mary Kay party with my friend Laura South.  She had been encouraging me to host a party for a year or more and finally I found the time to do it on Wednesday.  After my recent debacles with enrichment parties (see Thoroughly Uncool) I wondered if anyone would come- particularly after several last minute cancellations.  I was seriously worried it would be me, Laura and my friend Suzanna.  To my surprise and delight the turn-out was great.  My friend Rachel H. brought 3 of her friends!  This in a addition to Suzanna, Melany, Anna and Becca.  Including Laura and myself we had 10 people.  My only regret is I was so busy hosting I forgot to take a picture! The food was good, the make up was fun and we all got great prices on good quality make-up.  I will definitely consider throwing another party.  Is it terrible to feel a little popular after such a party?  That is how I felt yesterday.  It was a nice feeling after a summer consumed with work (since Hawaii at least).

Today I took some time off wrote my article for right chicks, attended voice lessons with Anna (so excited!), and then had a lovely dinner with my great friend Angie Powell Barratt.  She recently got married and this was my first time to her house.  It is a charming house built in 1901 they are restoring bit-by-bit (so much cuter than some bland new house).  We talked the night away and it was a lovely evening.  I turned my phone on silent and just enjoyed myself.  Sometimes the best thing is eating a good meal with a lovely friend.

My last comment is on the movie 500 days of summer.  Maybe it is because I feel like there has been 500 days this summer, but I loved it.  There are so few movies which feel  authentically creative- too many are sequels or rip-offs of earlier, better movies.  The plot is about a young couple (Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Zoey Deschanel) that have a 500 day relationship.  In a very  creative way the story jumps around from one moment to another showing day 5,  301, 499 and back to 1 etc.  It takes a bunch of creative risks including non-linear storytelling, over-the-top narration, a large musical number, sketch drawing on the whole screen, dual panels with different story-lines, and more.  The acting was good,  writing funny, and the music was cool.  It does have a few objectionable things and probably earns its PG-13, but for adults it is wonderful.

One small thing I appreciated about the movie is its non-cliche ending.  The characters are not in a storybook relationship, but they still learn much from each other.   They are even unlikable  in whole sections of the movie- particularly Deschanel (her character is named Summer, hence 500 days of Summer).  In real life most people have a series of teaching relationships before meeting the right person. This movie shows the process of becoming the right person for someone else through a relationship. It is an unexpected and interesting movie on so many levels- characters, plot, sets, style and more.  It is also the kind of movie that is better in the theaters.  You will appreciate the creative touches more on the big screen.  I hope you all like it.  Let me know what you think!

Madeline is 10- A Decade Come and Gone August 13, 2009

My baby sister Madeline turns 10 today. I can’t believe an entire decade has gone by since she has been a part of our family.  I know it is such a cliche- but really where does the time go?  I remember the day she was born.  I had the unusual circumstance of leaving for college with my mother pregnant.  It was a stressful time for our family as we had just moved to California from Maryland (I know all the way across the country!), my mom had 2 other young children and she had basically full bed rest for the entire pregnancy.  To add to the pressure both myself and my sister Megan went out to BYU at the same time.  This was a surprise for my parents as Meg was only 16 at the time.  ( I was delighted with Megan going to school.  It was like my best friend taking that big step with me).   My parents tried their best to handle everything with grace and cheerfulness but it was hard.  My mom used to call our dorm room and try her best to sound happy but it always came across as pathetic and sad.  It was a very exciting but conflicting time for both of us.

At the end of our Summer term we traveled home for a two-week time period.  I don’t remember when the original due date was but my mom was scheduled to be induced at the beginning of our trip.  It was on a Friday and we debated because it was the superstitious day of Friday the 13th; however, in the end we wanted to spend as much time with the new baby as possible.  Plus, my mom was ready.  Into the hospital she went and later that afternoon she had the baby (my mom always had fast deliveries).  She was a beautiful baby with light blond hair and a button nose. Madeline didn’t have the bleach blond Anna had but was definitely fair.  For the next two weeks we helped my mother as much as we could and took care of the baby.  From the beginning Madeline had spunk and curiosity for life.  I thoroughly expect her to do great, dynamic, exciting things- she has the personality for it.  She always has.

Some may find it odd to have a sibling that I have never lived with for more than a week or two.  How can we be close? Well, I have been fortunate enough to always travel home for visits at every major holiday.  My family has also made it a priority to travel to Utah as much as possible.  I have often heard the younger kids grumble about “another visit to Utah…”  What they didn’t realize is these trips were essential to the unity of our family.  As all of my siblings grow, I know I will continue to see our relationships grow and our friendships deepen.  I am a very communicative person and as cute as little kids are I almost enjoy the more talkative pre-teen and teenager ages more.   I look forward to many more birthday’s with Madeline!

Aside from memories of her original birthday, I have also been contemplating the last decade.  10 years.  It has been 10 years since that big day for our family.  What have I done in that 10 years?  I started to list the accomplishments and if I am allowed to say, it’s not to shabby of a list:

Since 1999 I have:

Started and graduated with my bachelor’s degree from BYU in Political Science emphasizing in political philosophy.   In 2001-2002 I was able to be a teaching assistant for Matt Holland and David Bohn- one of the great honors of my life.

Completed an MBA

Had 5 different jobs (that’s just counting what I do now as one job!)

Lived in 14 different apartments.

Had 29 roommates/companions (that is only counting my sister once who I lived with 3 times)

Served a 20 month mission for the LDS (Mormon) church.

Took at least 4 years of voice lessons (8 recitals)

It’s hard to know exactly but I figure I have been to California at least 40 times in 10 years.

Plus, I have been to Japan, Mexico twice (that’s 2 cruises), Hawaii 3 times, New York City 3 times, Indiana once (aside from the mission), Las Vegas 3 times, Disneyland once, Jackson Hole and more.

Two of my siblings have gotten married and I now have 4 nieces and one step-nephew.

I tried to count but I have lived in 15 wards and had 21 callings at church.  Most of my callings have involved activities or enrichment.  I have served as  a teacher once and this was my favorite calling besides my mission.

Assuming we talked for only an hour a week, taking out 2 years for my mission, I figure I have talked to my mom on the phone for over 400 hours.  In fact, it’s probably double that.  I have similar statistics for both Anna and Megan.   I am so grateful for the time they take to make our relationships strong.

There have been some sad, tough times, but  I am proud of the woman I have become.  Some especially hard times were in 2001 when my grandfather and 2 cousins died, 9/11 happened, and other family crisis erupted in one year.  2007 was also a difficult year where I dealt with depression, anxiety and even a panic attack.  My mission also had many struggles accompanying its triumphs.

I have started a blog, gotten on facebook, and watched far too many hours of movies, dvds and cable (reality tv has become a particular addiction)

I now have 20 cookbooks and have sampled hundreds of recipes while throwing tons of parties- some more successful than others.  I like to think I am a pretty great entertainer at this point, and I hope I have made a few people happy through my efforts.  My personal favorite is the original Barefoot Contessa cookbook and the follow up Barefoot Contessa Parties by Ina Garten.  Delicious!

I have been in 5 book clubs and read countless books. Some of my favorites are Red China Blues by Jan Wong, Delicacy and Strength of Lace by Leslie Marmon Silko and James Wright, Urban Tribes by Ethan Watters, Harry Potter books, Jane Austen books, Elizabeth Gaskell books etc…

In the last 4 years I have become a lover of audiobooks, podcasts and radio programs including Car Talk, Wait Wait Don’t Tell Me, This American Life and Radio West.  Little things like reading a great book or listening to an interesting program are what make my life great.

My favorite perks of the last 10 years- high speed wireless internet, my ipod, and my DVR (like TIVO). I am still fantasizing about getting a Kindle someday…

Finally, I have had the best friends a girl could ask for.  Particularly when I think of the friends who have persisted over this decade, I feel so lucky.  There are too many to begin naming them.  Suffice it to say, I have had very few moments where I am lonely for a shoulder to cry on or a companion to share a laugh with.

Life is good, and I have much to be grateful for. I have a great life.

Clearly there are some life goals I have not met including losing a significant amount of weight, having a committed relationship, getting married, having kids (girl named Lili, boy named Christian but who’s planning!), getting a down payment and purchasing a home, going back to Europe,catering at least one wedding, earning a PHD, and writing a book. These are all things I hope to be able to list as accomplishments when I write my post at Madeline’s 20th birthday!  They are somewhat lofty goals but as the poet says “every dream proceeds the goal and the dream lies hidden in your soul”.   We will see how life happens.  I have certainly learned a lot in the last decade and can only hope that the next 10 years are twice as fruitful as the previous.  Thanks in advance for your support and help along the way.  It will be a great adventure!

(I hope this post doesn’t sound like eulogy.  I was simply feeling thoughtful about my life. )

Comfort August 6, 2009

Tonight my mood while writing this post can be summed up in one word- comfort.  Why is that you might ask? Well, there are a number of reasons.  First, I am watching one of my all-time favorite movies, You’ve Got Mail.  My regular readers will not be surprised by this- as it is the one of only two movies I have written entire posts on (See Open to Change).   It’s interesting because I wrote the post in May of last year when my life was going through many changes.  Now my life is once again changing and wouldn’t you know I turn to the same movie to provide escapism and comfort.  I know it is predictable and somewhat obvious, but I don’t care.  It makes me laugh, has lots to say about modern-day work,  captures my love of books and New York City,  and realizes  my fantasy of a romantic pen pal.  Plus, its themes of modernity and change are ones I continue to come back to again and again.  I will not bore you by re-posting my favorite quotes from the movie.  You can look at my original post for that.  Suffice it to say, it is a comfort movie in a time of change.  Do any of you have movies you watch repeatedly?  One of these days I am going to do a posting on my favorite movies.  I have started one several times but it is difficult to pare it down to a manageable list.

The second comforting aspect of tonight is the food I made.  I happened to have the ingredients to make one of my family’s favorite items- German potato salad.  If any of you haven’t enjoyed this dish, it is made with potatoes, bacon, vinegar, sugar, flour, celery seed, salt and onion.  It is one of those dishes that pulls off the delicious sweet/salty combination.  I have been trying to eat healthier in the last few weeks (lost 10 lbs in 5 weeks!) , so perhaps this choice was a bit of an indulgence but as a main course for dinner it wasn’t too bad.  We have a tradition in our family of eating a  German meal on Christmas Eve.  It sounds odd but it is delicious.  The main course is bratwurst sandwiches cooked on the griddle with rye bread, gooey swish cheese and my mom’s special sauerkraut.  Most people turn their noses up at sauerkraut but that is because they  haven’t tried my mom’s.  It is delicious.  She takes the sauerkraut, rinses it, and then boils it in fresh apple cider for hours until it is sweet/salty yummy!  It has won over even the most ardent sauerkraut haters.  As a side for the  meal we also have german potato salad.  I have tried to recreate the other aspects of the Christmas Eve meal but to no avail.  The two times I tried the sauerkraut it  didn’t turn out and the sandwiches are nothing without it.  The german potato salad I have succeeded in making, so I decided to tackle it tonight. It was delicious and comforting.

The third comforting aspect of tonight is the satisfaction of hard work.  Is there anything better or more comforting than relaxing after working really hard? Ever since I got home from Hawaii I have felt a bit like  a chicken with its head cut off- running around frantically, working hard and not knowing what was happening next.  I can now see things coming into place but it’s been a bit overwhelming.  As with any change there is the fear of the unknown, the fear of being unhappy, the fear of picking the wrong path.  It has been hard and I think I’ve done a pretty good job keeping it all together.  Maybe part of it is I’ve been so busy there hasn’t been much time for moping around the house or worrying.  There were about 2 weeks when I allowed myself to stress out about the future, but now I am excited about the opportunities that are coming.  As I mentioned in my last post I have gone from worrying whether I had one job to now having the potential for four- vacation rentals, sales tax, Grabber events, and managing other people’s vacation rentals.  I have had to put the real estate school on the back burner for August but that will start up in September, which I am excited about (my renting 2 of the Suncrest houses as long-term rentals  should be a good sign for my future as a property manager!).  This week in particular I have been working all hours on the vacation rentals, the long-term rentals, getting trained on sales tax, working on Grabber events and more. Yesterday I was up at the houses from the morning until late in the afternoon working and forgot to drink enough water or eat lunch. Eventually I had to lie down because I started feeling faint.  I also had phone calls all day- by 2 pm I had received 25 incoming calls! It was exhausting.  Today I knew I needed to take a break from it all and that is what I have done.  I had my voice lesson this morning, which is always wonderful.  Then I came home worked on my computer for the afternoon, made dinner and am watching the movie.  It feels great to just enjoy my life!

The only thing that would make today more comforting is if I wasn’t alone.  However, maybe wishing for someone to watch You’ve Got Mail and eat german potato salad with is wishing for too much! Even if a man is unrealistic, it would be the icing on the cake to have a girlfriend or two with me.  There are so many who are far away, and I miss greatly- Melissa, Raelene, Emily and Stefanie to name a few.  I can also imagine this night with my sisters- all of us laughing and eating together.  Still, they are all only a phone call away, and they all love me.  As much as I would love their company, the knowledge of their love builds me and provides comfort.   I know whatever career path or life choice I make my friends and family will support and encourage me.  One of my most frequent prayers throughout my life has been one of gratitude to my Heavenly Father for all the love He has given me.

A couple of posts ago I wrote about needing increased faith for the months ahead.  It may have sounded trite or simplistic to some, but I don’t care.  Having faith means believing in something that is not seen.  At that moment I could not see what was in store for me.  I still have many unknowns but already I have seen new opportunities open- chances that will help me be a better, more interesting person.  This is perhaps the most comforting part about tonight- that I know everything will be ok.  My life is watched over.  As long as I work hard, believe in myself and trust in God then everything will turn out for the best.  This is a hard thing to believe when life is in chaos but it’s true.

Thank you for all your support during this crazy time.  Thank you for the comfort.

Favorite Books June 13, 2009

So, I thoroughly plan to elaborate on each of these books, but I thought my blog readers might be interested in a listing of my top 16 favorite books.  I have met illiterate people, and I feel so sorry for them.  It makes me sad that the only world open to them is the one before them.  When I read  I can escape to the 18oo’s, enter Middle Earth, marry a high school sweetheart or any other adventure I want to take.  I read at least 2 books a month and most of the time more (depends on the length of the book and the month).

My book selections usually fall into categories.  First of all, there’s the classics.  As all my blog readers will remember I love Elizabeth Gaskell.  Her books are all amazing.  They make me want to be better- to live a fuller life.  I also love Dickens, Elliott, Austen and more. I love how the classics were written like a movie- full of minute details to soak up.

The next set of favorites are political science/sociology books.  Again you will remember I love books analyzing society such as The Great Good Place, Bowling Alone and Tribes.  I loved studying political science at BYU because of the way it made me think.  Instead of just looking at something like a Starbucks, I am encouraged by these books to think about the impact, effects and social trends involved. I know some people think these books are boring but I just love them. For instance, when I first read Urban Tribes by Ethan Watters it made me feel connected to the world in a new way- like there was a whole new group of singles out there who knew exactly how I feel.  I felt validated in a way I hadn’t in years.  I read it with a highlighter and a notebook and just LOVED it.

Another category is memoirs.  I have always been fascinated by interesting stories about unique people.  These memoirs can run the gambit from lighter fare like Cheaper by the Dozen and Mama’s Bank Account, and more intense stories such as The Hiding Place and Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl.  These books make me want to be a better, more interesting person- to conquer challenges and write down my humorous experiences.

Moving on, I also love children’s books- particularly ones I read growing up.  Reading wasn’t always easy for me.  I was a later reader (which is funny because now I am a ferocious reader and can read books much quicker than most of my friends) and although I was never diagnosed I think I had a little bit of dyslexia.  It was always hard for me to focus, take tests, follow directions and explain what I felt inside.  I always felt I knew the material better than anyone else but the grades would never show.  This was true all the way through college.  It’s funny because you would think someone with such difficulties would hate reading but for some reason I plowed on through, almost forcing myself to enjoy it.  A couple of books that spoke to me when I was young were Anne of Green Gables,  Laura Ingalls Wilder, Little Woman, Girl of Limberlost, Caddie Woodland, Narnia, Roald Dahl stories and more.  Later on I loved Harry Potter and Lord of the Rings.

The last category is totally random.  There are some books that I just like.  Any good books are Ok by me.  I am up for any type of book, time period, and writing style.  I especially love the experience of reading a book with others and talking it out.  There have been a few times when I read a book and kind of liked it but after talking it over with others I liked it much more. Their vision made me see the book in new ways- made me understand it in a more completely.  I love it!

Finally I will give you my top 16 favorite books:

1. North and South by Elizabeth Gaskell
2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
3. Hiding Place by Corrie ten Boom
4. Cheaper by the Dozen by Frank and Lilian Gilbreth
5. Anne of Green Gables by LM Montgomery
6. Urban Tribes by Ethan Waters
7. Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl by Harriett Jacobs
8. Mama’s Bank Account by Kathryn Forbes
9. Red China Blues by Jan Wong
10. Delicacy and Strength of Lace by Leslie Marmon Silko and James Wright
11. Cry the Beloved Country by Alan Paton
12. Great Expectations by Charles Dickens
13. Complete Poems of Elizabeth Bishop
14. Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather
15. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
16. Howards End by EM Forester

So, there you have it. My favorite books. Some others I love are Wives and Daughters and Cranford by Elizabeth Gaskell, Death of a Salesman by Arthur Miller, My Antonia by Willa Cather, On Gold Mountain by Lisa See, Harry Potter, Screwtape Letters and Narnia books by CS Lewis, Lord of the Rings, Little Women, A Year in Provence by Peter Mayle. So many good ones. I just read a new book called Lying Awake by Mark Salzman that I LOVED! I could go on and on.

Thoroughly Uncool June 10, 2009

I like to think of myself as a fun person- as a social person that people enjoy being around and for the most part I am. However, as I get older it seems to get harder to make friends and form groups?  Does anyone else find this to be the case? I don’t know if it is because I have such great friends and do not feel the need to make new ones or if other people are too busy, or perhaps I’m not as agreeable as I used to be? It’s funny because I think my skills as a host have only improved as I’ve gotten older- and yet there seems to be less to host!

What brought all of these thoughts up is I have been trying to organize small groups for our church ladies organization called Enrichment.  These groups are supposed to focus on a variety of topics and help all the women in the congregation feel included.  In past wards I have had success in gathering girls for book clubs, cooking groups, and movie nights, but not in this ward.  It is like pulling teeth to get anyone to come to anything.  Yesterday we had book club and I picked a Jane Austen- Persuasion (so good!)- and I am embarrassed to say nobody came except for my roommate.  A bunch of people had said they could come on Sunday but then nobody showed.   Only 2 called with excuses (one had a flooded basement and another had a bad flu).  On a side note- whatever happened to the notion of RSVP’ing.  I grew up in Maryland where a little of that Southern hospitality creeped into the culture.  If you said you were going to be somewhere, you better be in a hospital if you don’t show up.  At least a call explaining why you can’t come should be common courtesy.

Don’t worry- I wasn’t devastated or anything merely disappointed that I couldn’t talk about the book and that my pretty tea party went unappreciated. Boo hoo!  Thankfully Megan had read the book for her book club last month and so I called and we had a good discussion.  Plus, my cute nieces and sisters are coming into town so we will have a tea party together! (In fact, on Saturday we are going to the Princess Festival in Lindon- how fun will that be!).  The whole family is arriving tomorrow, and I can’t wait.  It has only been a couple months since I saw them but it feels longer.  Baby Nelle is crawling and pulling herself up already! Wow!

I am not intending this posting to engender pity- I have great friends, and I have a full life.  I am merely puzzled by my recent inability to attract new friends.  It isn’t just with Enrichment but the few times I have had parties the turnout is low.  I used to be able to always attract a crowd. Weird, hah? I’ve even offered to have a party up at the rental homes with a hot tub and pool table, but nobody has taken me up on it.  What do you all think?  Is there an age where movie nights and game parties are passe?

This is a funny entry on SWPL that applies to the need to host dinner parties.  Enjoy!

Though many would have you believe that white people come of age at Summer Camp, it’s simply not the truth. Immediately following graduation but prior to renovating a house, white people take their first step from childhood to maturity by hosting a successful dinner party.

It is imperative that white people know how to host a good dinner party as they will be expected to do it well into retirement.

At the most basic level, these simple gatherings involve 3-6 couples getting together at a single house or apartment, having dinner and talking for 5-6 hours. Though it might seem basic these events are some of the most stressful situations in all of white culture.

Hosts are expected to deliver a magical evening. The food must be home made with fresh, organic ingredients, the music must be just right (ambient, new, but not too loud), and the decorations inside the house should be subtle but elegant. The ultimate goal is to do a better job than the couple at the last dinner party while attempting to make everyone jealous and sort of dislike you.

The dinner party is the opportunity for white people to be judged on their taste in food, wine, furniture, art, interior design, music, and books. Outside of dictatorships and a few murder trials, there might not be a more rigorous judgment process in the modern world. Everything must be perfect. One copy of US Weekly, a McDonalds wrapper, a book by John Grisham, a Third Eye Blind CD, or an Old School DVD can undo months and maybe even years of work.

Even before guests arrive the pressure on the host is immense and it does not let up once people begin to arrive. While eating, drinking, and conversation are expected to fill up 5-6 hours, sometimes it’s just not enough. In order to fill the silence, white people will often turn to board games (Cranium!) or Wii Bowling. This lets everyone have fun together without having to really talk to each other, which is usually more fun anyways.

It is strongly encouraged to bring a gift to these dinner parties, usually either wine or some kind of dessert. If you are able to bring a particularly rare dish from your culture, you will be the star of the party. To seal the deal, be sure to explain as much as you possibly can about the dish: history, availability, and the proper way to eat it. Every white person at the party will be taking mental notes and will be in your debt for introducing them to something new and authentic. If a white person says they have eaten the dish before, it is best to respond by saying “you ate a watered down version. They don’t even sell this to white people, it’s that intense. Even I had to show ID.”

The entire party will universally acknowledge you as the top guests, even the hosts will appreciate you for bringing diversity to the table in both food and person form.

Hawaii video blog June 3, 2009

These are my video diary entries from my trip.  I hope you enjoy them.  I might do this everytime I travel now that I have a new camera.  I was thinking of calling it the Big Girl Travel Blog? What do you think?  I have been looking for away  to make money while traveling- an internet travel website could be just the thing!!I’m kidding- kind of!

Aloha! May 25, 2009

Hey can’t write because I am in paradise.  Love it!  Here is a video hello that I took today at the beach.

Over the Rainbow May 22, 2009

I have had the craziest week.  Between moving, getting ready for Hawaii, working hard and getting ready for a recital today, my life felt pretty overwhelming.  Today I am pleased to write this blog as a fully moved-in person.  I love my new apartment and feel at home here.  All this unpacking included spending an entire day putting together an IKEA bookcase with doors (it was my nemesis! So hard!) has left me exhausted and ready for vacation.

After a long week I finished it today by performing in my voice lesson recital.  It was my most intimidating recital because I sand Over the Rainbow- the famous Judy Garland version.  It may be my favorite song.  Definitely in my top 10.  Because I love it so much it made all the more nerve-wracking to sing it.  I wanted it to be perfect, which of course it will never be.  It is also a more difficult song than you’d first expect.  Every time you sing “Some” “Where” you do a full octave change.  This happens time and again throughout the song.  It is also such a recognizable song that it almost has to be perfect or people will notice.  It was a big risk for me to select it, but I have improved greatly because of  it. It’s more satisfying than I can explain in words to hear myself get better week-to-week on a song I love so much.  It’s the best!

With all this preparation I stepped onto the stage at Hale Theater Orem and sang my heart out.  Without sounding too arrogant I think it was the best I have ever sung!   I came off the stage beaming and got nothing but positive feedback from my friends and teachers.  The funny thing is that I actually messed up on the words in one verse, but I didn’t let it phase me and nobody noticed. I just bought a new camera with a special video feature that is supposed to make it easier to post online.  Take a look at the video of the performance.   It was an exciting moment in my life.

Like I said, it was the best I have sung and it felt good! I hope you enjoyed it.

On another note my sister Anna had an exciting experience.  She is a die hard David Archuleta fan and when I say die hard I mean it!  She has seen him live several times, has every performance he has ever recorded, and has pictures of him in her room.  You’d think he was a member of the family!  More than just loving his music, she genuinely admires him for sticking to his values.

As a member of the David Archuleta fan club she participated in a contest to promote his album in return for various prizes.  The grand prize was a 5 minute conversation with David.  Anna went full force ahead doing a number of things including sponsoring a fundraiser for a charity David supports.  A couple of weeks ago she submitted her project and then to all of our surprise she got an email announcing her as the winner of the grand prize!  She won a conversation with her idol David Archuleta!  Naturally Anna was beside herself and could hardly sleep the days before the phone call took place.  Finally today it happened.  At 2:49 he called and they chatted for 21 minutes!  I guess they spoke about many things including music, writing songs, religion, BYU, American Idol and more.

Some may say it is a silly thing to get excited over but I disagree. I know David is just a person like anyone else.  I also am aware there are lines in fanaticism, which go overboard and can be dangerous.  However, in this case, I think it is a good thing.  I appreciate anyone who lives his or her life with passion- someone who isn’t afraid to take risks.   Anna is such a person.  Her passion isn’t limited to musicians.  She loves church, her friends, Lord of the Rings movies, Harry Potter, BYU, and more.  I’ve even seen her get excited over a cool minor chord!  It is so easy to be lukewarm and mediocre in life.  While I was going to school I saw many people satisfied with the bare minimum, with gliding by on the coat tails of others.  I still do not understand how others can be happy with such a paltry blahh life.

If Anna is going to be into David Archuleta, she should be into him all the way.   I like how Anna has set a pattern in her life of living boldly.  Most people wouldn’t have attempted the contest but Anna went for it, and she got it.  I admire that.  Later in life she will meet many obstacles that will seem impossible, but from this and other experiences she will have the courage to make the attempt- to try her hardest and hopefully the reward will come. In a weird way my singing and her phone call have something in common- they both involve passion for music, and trying our utmost to succeed.

Another thing I admire about Anna is  she has learned to accept disappointment. For instance, at her age I would have been more emotional over not getting into the music department.  Her attitude allows her to live with passion because however things turn out she can find happiness.  Sometimes there are discouraging situations and other times, like today, there are moments of excitement and glee. Congrats Anna!  You deserve it!