Little Women
Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
My rating: 5 of 5 stars
Just read it again for the first time in years for book club. It is honestly a difficult book for me to critique because I have such fondness for it from childhood. It is perhaps the hardest to be objective of things we love as children. Wouldn’t you agree? It was the first big book I remember reading, the first novel that I was proud of. In my memory I was 9 and I ate up every page.
This is of course the story of the 4 March sisters in Civil War America. As we meet them, they are sad about a poor Christmas with a father far away. Over the course of what was actually 2 books they deal with the effects of war, illness, romance and poverty while being constantly guided by the perfect mother they call Marmee.
Little Women is completely sentimental but it works on several levels. First, as a transcendentalist Alcott creates an ideal family, ideal situation, ideal mother. Even the version of poverty is perfect- its a poverty that is chosen and moral, and the fear of abject desolation is never really felt by the women. It is also an ideal version of wealth with all of the main figures coming around to see the value of giving and helping the misfortune.
Admitting the sentiment- why has the book remained so popular for over 150 years? I think it is because there is great comfort in an ideal. Its no wonder Alcott’s book was so popular immediately after the Civil War, a time where people could use a little idealism- to dream that everything could be good again.
I was also reading on the Kate Hepburn movie sleeve and it said “Released during the depths of the Depression. It buoyed American’s spirits. It still does”. Even in movie form there is something comforting and buoying about this story. People want to believe in such a world.
I also think this sense of comfort has allowed the story to transfer well across cultures and mediums with versions in opera, broadway, and even anime.
It may seem strange for a grown women to have dolls but I cherish my Madame Alexander collection because I cherished it as a child. I will do an entire post on them sometime but 3 of my most treasured are my Little Women dolls- Beth, Joe (1984) and Joe Goes to New York.
Little Women is also written very well. Alcott clips things along at a fast enough pace that the sentiment is not distracting- especially true in part 1. I was amazed at this read how much happens in just the first few chapters.
She also creates 4 young women that almost any child can relate to, especially Jo who yearns for self expression, and the ability to be different. I remember how this inspired me when I read it. People relate to Jo because I think secretly they wish they could be her. They wish they could be that unconventional and free, but real life often tempers the free spirit.
Growing up in the March family also seems like a lot of fun. I can remember being envious of the plays they’d perform, parties attend, creating newspapers and having secret groups in attics along with other various misadventures.
I also never really had any male friends so the idea of a Laurie brother figure was very appealing (my brother and I squabbled constantly as children and have always struggled to understand one another). Like I said, the whole situation seems very idyllic and happy. Even a Christmas where the girls get 1 book under their pillow has a certain charm. It did for me as a 9 year old and still does now. Almost tough to put into words.
I also saw things this time that I didn’t get from my early reads or the movie versions. Alcott is more nuanced in her character development than at first blush. Laurie is more of a rascal, and he and Jo argue more than I remember. Perhaps this shows my age but it made sense this read-through why she would refuse him. I’m not sure I quite buy the perfect romance between Laurie and Amy but it was better than I remembered.
Beth is also more nuanced than the perfect child I remember, experiencing some aching loneliness that Alcott allows you to feel. Beth was based on one of her sisters and you can feel that personal ache within the story. Alcott also said that she took the events of her hard life and gave them a happy, hopeful perspective, so while it is sentimental (as all imagined life is), it also feels remarkably grounded and personal. Like reading someone’s journal and who isn’t a bit sentimental in their journals?
I just enjoy this book so much and hope to be able to read it to my nieces or daughter if I have one. I hope it will inspire them to figure out who they are and what they want in life- that it will encourage them to act, read, write and serve others. That it will make them cry, smile and laugh. Its a great book!
I’ve been surprised by how many of our book cluber’s haven’t read Little Women and how many dislike it. I suppose sentiment will do that. What do you think? I look forward to a good discussion and I will try my best to have my 9 year old self not take things to personal 
1933 version is so great-
The most rediculous version was in 1949 with Elizabeth Taylor looking absurd as Amy.
1994 version is great (wonderful music) but the Laurie is perhaps to perfect. It should be a little easier to understand why Jo says no. Also, I don’t like Susan Sarandon as Marmee. She is too icey and Marmee is all sweetness and warmth. Still good film.
There was also an excellent Broadway musical in 2005. While it does take liberties with the story, the heart is right on. I love this duet between Beth and Jo.
One more by the amazing Sutton Foster (who I saw in the Drowsy Chaperon in 2006). What a gift her voice is.
PB and J Pancakes
Lately food has been a pain in the neck. Everything just looks gross and I’ve had no appetite to eat much of anything. I am sure that sounds peachy but it is kind of a pain. I have food, healthy food, and I’m not eating junk but just looking at my fridge makes me feel nauseated. I can’t explain it. The odd thing is eating these super small amounts I feel great! I feel alert, happy, light. This whole month I have felt really well. I’ve had painful days but not as many as in other months (I think part of it is this amazing weather we’ve had. I feel weighted down when the weather is cold and gray).
Anyway, as I bird-eat I find that I have to freeze a lot of what I make because I’m just not very hungry. Its hard to make meals for 1 anyway but even if I do there is still at least one portion left these days. Some things freeze better than others. Like the other day I made these thai peanut noodles. They didn’t reheat well and kind of turned black. Still tasted good but looked gross.
The pork I made Sunday has saved well and will be nice to have frozen for quesadillas, pizzas, omelets ect. I am working to come up with recipes that I can freeze so that hopefully we can have a healthy, low GI, freezer meal party. A couple of my friends are already interested. The problem is a lot of freezer meals contain creamed soups and preservatives which I do not want, especially hanging around in my freezer for months. If any of you know of good freezer meal recipes that are low in sugar and white carbs send them my way. Does anyone know how quinoa freezes?
So, today I decided to make my whole wheat pancakes as previously posted http://smilingldsgirl.wordpress.com/2011/09/23/whole-wheat-pancakes/. This was a recipe given me to my internet friend White Lilly . These are not the heavy whole wheat pancakes you are used to but are light and fluffy. (This time I used Stevia instead of sugar. It didn’t really work. I would use agave instead.)
Anyway, to shake things up a bit I decided to make PB and J pancakes. So, I took a bag of frozen strawberries on the stovepot, melted them down (didn’t need any liquid because of the ice but if you made from fresh might need 1/4 water), and a tbsp of stevia. I let it cook until the strawberries were wilted. At this point you could blend it to make it smooth but I kind of like the hunks of strawberries.
Strawberries, raspberries, peaches and cherries are all considered LOW GI fruit. Having an index of 32 or below. Kiwi’s, figs, mangos and bananas are nearly double; however, they can still be valuable for other reasons if used sparingly.
With the finished strawberry topping I spread a layer of creamy peanut butter on each pancake and then poured the strawberries on top (the strawberries will be good on yogurt or ice cream. Nice way to use frozen fruit, which is cheaper and lasts longer)!
PB and J pancakes. I've been trying to have better food photography on my blog. What do you think? I honestly couldn't eat all of this only 1/2. It was really good though.
And look at all I was able to save, enough for 5 more breakfasts.
5 Breakfasts in the freezer! Ziplocs work the best to stuff things in my little freezer
I’d like to get another smaller freezer because mine is always crammed full. If anyone has a deal let me know. This is the kind I would like: I am hoping to find one used, on sale. We will see.
Anyway, enjoy the pancakes and start experiencing with freezer meals and please send me your successes. Love ya!
Rachel’s Homemade BBQ Sauce
I love sauces. One of the hardest things about sticking to a low GI diet is that most produced sauces/dressings are high in added sugar. In addition, most not only have sugar but have high fructose corn syrup which is like concentrated sugar. This left me with dry, boring food. 
Lately I’ve been experimenting a lot in the kitchen and trying to come up with recipes that are low GI and taste good. I’ve had 2 less than stellar successes but today I think I scored. ( I tried to make enchiladas with my own enchilada sauce and they were such a disappointment.).
I have made my own barbeque sauce! BBQ sauce is usually loaded with sugar, molasses and honey. Especially my favorite, Kansas city style, which is a dark, rich sauce. Now I made this sauce with agave but you could use coconut syrup or brown rice syrup or yacon- whatever low GI sweetener floats your boat. I don’t think stevia would work as well in this recipe because it isn’t a liquid syrup but you can try it! I am also not a fan of splenda. Its not natural like the stevia or agave plants and to me it has a chemical aftertaste.
(For agave haters read this) The Agave Bad for You Fallacy
One thing you have to remember is that any sweetener is just that a sweetener but some are absorbed less quickly and converted into glucose. Its kind of like the difference between whole grains and white flour. They are both grains but one is absorbed more quickly than the other. Our bodies are designed to taste sweet, salty, sour, bitter, and unami, and I believe it is important that any diet for it to be a realistic lifestyle change must incorporate all of these taste buds. They are there. They aren’t going away. Doing a sugar fast may be helpful to change habits and lessen cravings but unless you cut out your tongue you will always want sweet.
there are areas of your tongue designed to taste sweet. Its how our body is made. Find healthier ways to satisfy those natural cravings
So, my goal is to find ways to satisfy my taste buds without raising my blood sugar levels (and its working I haven’t had a high reading in a year). I try (sometimes unsuccessfully) to take regular dishes and lower the simple carbs and substitute/reduce the sugar in them. (Any recipes you have in this regard I’d love!).
My sister and a friend are coming over tonight and she suggested we make this soda pop crockpot pork I’ve made in the past. At first I thought, no way! If there was ever a dish loaded with sugar this is it. In addition to 2 cans regular cola an average recipe has 1 cup or more of highly sweetened bbq sauce and an additional 1/2 cup of brown sugar.
One of the things I admire about people like Elana Amsterdam is she hasn’t let her celiac disease stop her from eating anything. She finds a way to make cupcakes, cookies, crackers, pies all within her food restrictions (she also uses agave and explains why). Amy Medling is another good example. Her menus are so full and rich and yet completely PCOS/Low GI friendly.
I think an attitude of looking at food limitations as a fun challenge, not as a burden, is very commendable. Sometimes I feel like all I get is one more thing I can’t eat each day (especially during the sugar fast, someone told me I couldn’t eat sugar free gum and I about lost it. I couldn’t take all the no’s anymore!).
Never to be undone by a challenge I decided to go for it. The pork is brewing in the crockpot right now but I have a feeling it will be delicious. I used oogave cola soda . This soda uses agave instead of high fructose corn syrup or sugar. Again, its not about it being a non-sweetener because it is but it is a better choice.
So, then I added a cup of my awesome homemade bbq sauce. Even if the pork doesn’t turn out it was worth it just for this recipe I invented. (And remember you are using just a little bit of sauce. The recipe makes over 4-6 cups. (I didn’t measure the final amount but it was a lot).
Here goes:
Homemade Low GI BBQ Sauce
1 large can tomato sauce (or pureed tomatoes in a blender and strained)
1/2 cup of water
1/2 c balsamic vinegar (doesn’t have to be the fancy stuff. I used some I got from the dollar store! Save the good stuff for bread or strawberries. I think you could also use apple cider vinegar which has some health benefits but it wouldn’t give you the dark KC BBQ look.)
1/3 c agave (can add a little more depending on taste)
1/2 tsp onion powder
1/2 tsp garlic powder
1/2 tsp mustard powder
1 tbsp chilli powder
1/4 tsp cayenne
1/2 tsp salt
1 tbsp yellow mustard
2 dashes of liquid smoke (start small and can add more because it packs a punch)
1/4 c Worcestershire sauce (this does contain hfc and sugar but it is such a small amount for a large quantity of sauce that I wouldn’t worry about it. If anyone knows of a Worcestershire sauce that doesn’t have added sugars let me know. )
Mix all together with a whisk until it boils and then quickly turn to med low and let simmer for 45 minutes. Then bottle and store in your fridge.
Rachel's Homemade LOW GI BBQ Sauce!
I’m really excited about this recipe. I think it will be great on hot dogs instead of ketchup (and I do intend on making my own Low GI ketchup) or with sweet potato fries. With roasted chicken it would be delicious, or on ribs it would be fabulous. There is tons of potential. Hurray!
Let me know what you think and if you alter the recipe in any way. I will post a photo of the pork tonight.
“It is a far, far better barbecue that I have now, than I have ever had before” – Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities
“It is better to have burnt and lost, then never to have barbecued at all” – William Shakespeare
(Just a little joke!)
Posted later-
Here is the pork
agave bbq pulled pork
The pork is a 5 lb pork shoulder rubbed with salt and pepper. Then you put it in the crockpot with an onion sliced up, 2 cans oogave cola and a cup of Low GI BBQ. Let cook on low for 6 hours. Then drain most of marinade, shred pork and add another cup of sauce, heat on high for 1-2 hours.
The pork was tender and full of flavor. I really liked it.
31 Year Old Breakdown
I’m afraid I’ve got insomnia tonight so to the blog I go…
So as all my facebook friends are aware I had a mini-meltdown today. (ps. I take facebook status’s as just that the status of my life, good, bad, happy, sad, whatever. I know others don’t look at it that way but I chose to be this real in my social media interactions). It has been a long week with lots of work hours, and not as much exercising as I would like. In addition, this Sunday is my last Sunday in my ward, which makes me sad and freaks me out, but also on Monday is my 31st birthday. How you ask could a 31st birthday be worse than a 30th? Well, last year I had just fallen down a flight of stairs and was in great pain/drugged up on my birthday. So, this is the first functioning birthday of my 30s.
Anyway, let me tell you about my ward change first. For those outside of the Mormon church we have several sectioned off wards (congregations) to suit certain language needs and lifestyles. For example, there are Spanish wards to help people who speak Spanish to attend and understand church. There is also what they call YSA Wards (Young Single Adults). This includes any person unmarried 17-31 (can be divorced. Usually if you have kids you are encouraged to go to a family ward because YSA wards do not have a primary for little one’s).
I have been in YSA wards since I was 17 years old and at the time the idea of turning 31 and ‘graduating’ out of the singles wards seemed impossible and yet here it is. This April I am helping to plan our 10 year BYU College Graduation Reunion. 10 years since I finished at BYU. It boggles the mind. To me it is a little scary- what did I do with that time? Did I do the right things? Is God happy with my efforts? I believe that He is and that knowledge is very comforting.
I look back at my life and wonder in those 10 years did I do enough to help people, to serve others, to mentor children? Sometimes I’m envious of teachers because they have written into their job professions opportunities to nurture future generations. Working from home I have limited interactions with other people, limited chances to mentor. I’d like to find something to volunteer for but haven’t come across the right thing for me. I’d love to work with Big Brother’s Big Sisters but the closest one is in Salt Lake. If anyone knows of a teen that could use a big sister send them my way. I’d love it!
Anyway, today I started thinking about the next 10 years. What are the 30′s? The 20′s are so clear- college, mission, grad school, work etc. 30s are much harder to define. What are the big accomplishments for a single girl in her 30s? Its honestly hard for me to come up with a list. With no big things coming it is easy to ask the question- has all the big stuff happened or if it didn’t happen, should it have happened? Is the game for big stuff over?
This left me feeling sad. As a single LDS woman how does my life matter? How do I contribute to the world? What would be the lesser because I’m not here? I do not have anyone who needs me for physical survival such as a young baby needs her mother; nor, am I a teacher who gets to influence many children and make a difference. There are a few people that need me for emotional and other support. My Dad told me yesterday that ‘he leans on me more than almost anyone else in his life’. That meant a lot to me. Its nice to feel needed.
My Dad also said ‘I know if you were gone there would be a lot of people grieving at your funeral and I think that says something’. It is comforting to think about ways you’ve helped people and added value to their lives. (Not that I’m dying or anything, friends. Just an example).
This is going to sound like such a pity plea but oh well- If any of you would mind sharing a way I have contributed to your life it would be the best birthday present I can think of. I would love it.
I know I can do better but I also know for sure that the Lord is happy with my life. If I try my best he will fill these 30 years with excitement, adventure and moments that matter.
I must admit diving into this new huge mid-singles branch with nearly 600 people freaks me out. I’m just so happy in my little ward family and I love being Sunday school teacher. Its sad to see a change but as it is in the Lord’s hands I am sure it will be change with blessings at the end of it. It might not be easy but it will work out. I am so grateful that my friend Stefanie is going to join in! She is awesome and we’ve been friends since 2005. It will be so nice to have a kindred spirit to share this big new adventure with. Hurray!
I also am no longer considered young by my church- rude!
How do you get through your 30s? What worries you about growing older? Do you ever fret about your legacy or lack of one? Do you worry that your life doesn’t matter like you hoped it would? I have felt all of these emotions and asked each of these questions and I am a mere work in progress at this point!
I found this quote by President Hinckley that gave me a lot of comfort (as he always did. I miss President Hinckley sometimes). President Hinckley said it best when asked about his legacy:
“I don’t know and I don’t care! That’s not my concern. I’m not trying to build some legacy of some kind. I’m just trying to move the work forward the best way I know how. And as I believe the Lord would have it move forward. And let the future take care of itself.”
I hope I can follow his counsel and keep moving forward with whatever the Lord puts in my path. I am positive that will lead to peace and a recognition as a good and faithful servant in the hereafter.
Writing and Reading for Children and Teens
This is a quick post- (Believe me I will do my 3rd interview I just want to make sure it is well thought out and that my political opinions are explained adequately).
On Saturday I went to an awesome literary symposium put on by the Provo Library. This was with my friend Emily Whitman who has been my BFF for 11 years. With 2 kids and my busy work-life it is harder to get together than I would like, especially a full afternoon so Saturday was such a treat.
We got to meet Haven Kimmel who wrote the wonderful memoir A Girl Named Zippy- a book which holds a special place in my heart because it is about growing up in Indiana. I have never met an author that I admire and it was so interesting to hear her perspective. She seemed a little melancholy over the recent changes in the publishing industry and said:
“I’m not sure how to continue in an art form that has changed so much that I no longer know how to perform it.”
But she was also very funny and there was a spirited debate over the advent of ebooks. In her mind they lessened the archival nature of a library, created a technological ‘upgrade’ need and excluded the poor/disadvantaged from the freedom provided by free books. It was interesting to me because I purchased a kindle in August expecting to love it but I haven’t. I rarely use it and prefer a real book that I can write notes in and arrows (I know you can do that in a kindle but I find it very tedious).
In fact, if anyone wants to buy a traditional 3G kindle I will give you a good deal (of course, they came out with the fire literally 2 weeks after my purchase!).
Anyway, the second session of the conference was on teen literature. While it was interesting I disagreed with the attitude of the presenter. She was a teacher in the public school system and to me she had a very defeatist attitude (she was a perky lady but still defeatist).
One of the first things she said was ‘It would be nice for my students to be reading more challenging books but at least they are reading’. Then as she continued one of her main qualifications for a book being a good recommendation was that it was ‘really fast’. I felt like she said that phrase 30 times in the hour. (Tell that to all the kids pouring through Harry Potter at 0ver 700 pages).
Her attitude annoyed me because I feel it is emblematic of a culture of compliance that we have in nurturing children and teenagers. We could encourage them to do better, be more, but instead we are happy with the least modicum of effort.
I’m not saying every child has to read Foucault and Thoreau but let’s not assume they can’t. Let’s see the greatest potential in all the people around us whether it is reading, dieting, learning, whatever. The greatest people in my life always saw my potential, the biggest disappointments failed to help nurture me (I still feel some resentment towards my high school choir teacher who stomped on my talent so hard I didn’t sing for 7 years in public after).
Once a child/teen is presented with reading options and they chose Diary of a Wimpy Kid, no problem. At least they are reading something over nothing. (I have never read Wimpy kid but that was just the example the speaker used about what her high school senior kids are reading). I just want the options to be presented and to not assume they will immediately go for something less challenging. I hated that assumption growing up.
It turns out there is quite a lively debate on this topic on the web spawned by an article in the New York Daily News by Alexander Nazaryan.
http://oinks.squeetus.com/2012/01/in-which-i-gamely-stick-out-my-tongue.html
I’m actually inclined to agree more with Nazaryan. As mentioned above, this feeling comes from the way I felt as a child. I hated being pandered too and treated like I was stupid because I was young. I wanted nothing more than to be shown the respect I felt I deserved. I wanted to be heard and taken seriously from a very young age.
One of my greatest goals if I am ever a parent is to let my children win an argument. This might sound funny but I want them to know that they have the ability to think things through on their own and that Mother is not always right. (Not every argument, but I want my kids to feel a freedom of expression and to learn to back up their thoughts as well as they can).
Basically my feeling on writing for children and teenagers is summed up best by Dr. Seuss (a man who is about as creative as it gets, so proof my approach does not limit magic or youthfulness in kids):
“I don’t write for children. I write for people.” Or, as he once told an interviewer, “I think I can communicate with kids because I don’t try to communicate with kids. Ninety percent of the children’s books patronize the child and say there’s a difference between you and me, so you listen to this story. I, for some reason or another, don’t do that. I treat the child as an equal.”
Finally, I think most teens are turned off of reading not because of difficult, boring books but because of the way those books are dissected in the classroom. If kids were allowed to present their own point of view instead of over-analyzing character motivations and styles I think they wouldn’t be as turned off. I think it is more a matter of approach than the material itself.
For Christmas I was debating about getting my 12 year old sister Pride and Prejudice, but I did and she was excited. I could have gotten her Prom and Prejudice (as suggested by the speaker) but I had confidence to give her the real thing. I think with a little digging we can see the literary potential of all of the people around us, especially the youth, and their life will be better for the faith we show in them.
It is also important to remember that you aren’t going to win with every suggestion. They might even hate what you put out there for them to read but I think that is good. Development of a critical eye and a well reasoned mind is part of the learning process. I read Scarlet Letter as a teen and hated it, still do, but you can bet I can explain why I dislike it so much! I could then, I can now!
So, that’s my opinion on that. What do you think? How do you think we should approach reading for teens and children? Are the classics still relevant and important to introduce or is just getting them reading enough?
(Nice what I think of as a quick post… )
Writing and Stories
Ok. We are taking a break from my interviews for one second. This is a topic I have wanted to address for some time. I love writing and have always enjoyed creating stories (not as much as my sister but I still like it). Growing up the advice to writers was always ‘tell what you know’ (think Jo March, Anne Shirley etc). However, if this was the standard we would never have fantasy, magic or imagination (unless there is a mystical world out there I am unaware of).
Lately, I have heard a different vein of this old school writing advice. Not only should you write what you know but that is the only thing you have a ‘right’ to write. If you venture away from your world than you are accused of stealing the voice of others.
For example, many have criticized Kathryn Stockett, author of The Help, for telling a tale about black household workers in the 60s. She even admits to being ‘nervous’ about it in an interview:
Q. Were you nervous that some people might take affront that you, a white woman in 2008–and a Southern white woman at that–were writing in the voice of two African-American maids?
A.At first, I wasn’t nervous writing in the voice of Aibileen and Minny because I didn’t think anybody would ever read the story except me. I wrote it because I wanted to go back to that place with Demetrie. I wanted to hear her voice again.
But when other people started reading it, I was very worried about what I’d written and the line I’d crossed. And the truth is, I’m still nervous. I’ll never know what it really felt like to be in the shoes of those black women who worked in the white homes of the South during the 1960s and I hope that no one thinks I presume to know that. But I had to try. I wanted the story to be told. I hope I got some of it right.
I have also heard the same criticism of Sue Monk Kidd’s writing in The Secret Life of Bee’s. In Utah some are mad at Stephanie Meyer for writing characters that do not uphold her Mormon faith.
I take issue with all of these arguments. Are we really saying that Stockett can only write about Southern white women, that Stephanie Meyer can only write about Mormons, that Sue Monk Kidd can only tell stories of girls from small towns in Georgia? (I don’t even like Meyer’s writing but I will defend it on this level).
Nobody enjoys a good memoir more than I do but I also love creativity and vision. Who cares if a character may not be perfectly historically accurate? If it works within the world of the story that’s all I care about.
These types of exclusions and criticisms are another example of how we preach diversity while becoming more isolating every moment. We are no longer a melting pot of ideas and cultures but a scattering or clustering of those ideas. Any break from cultural autonomy is seen as bigoted or an affront. It makes it easier for most of us to stay in homogenous groups such as exemplified by Utah (where I live) or Portland (great book on this topic is The Big Sort by Bill Bishop).
Getting back to writing, if a book is well written I shouldn’t even be thinking about the author and his or her story. After all, when I’m reading Jane Eyre I’m not wondering how a clergyman’s daughter who didn’t marry until she was 30 could write such sexy, romantic prose? No, I’m enthralled with the story and then only after do I ask those questions.
To me it is sad that we are making authors ‘nervous’. That we are forcing them to ask those questions and perhaps abandon a powerful story. I like how Sue Monk Kidd describes her writing process:
“It took me a little over three years to complete the novel. The process of writing it was a constant balancing act between what writing teacher Leon Surmelian referred to as “measure and madness.” He suggested that writing fiction should be a blend of these two things. That struck me as exactly true. On one hand, I relied on some very meticulous “measures,” such as character studies, scene diagrams, layouts of the pink house and the honey house. I had a big notebook where I worked out the underlying structure of the book. I relied more heavily, however, on trying to conjure “madness,” which I think of as an inexplicable and infectious magic that somehow flows into the work.”
How can such madness and vision be tempered by thoughts of what is appropriate for them to write? How about we just let them write and enjoy the results? Maybe we would get better books if we encouraged true creative freedom. That’s one thing I appreciated about The Book Thief is it has an unabashedly unique voice and perspective. Nobody said, “Markus Zusak you are Australian, you can’t tell a story about WWII Germany” and thank goodness for that. It is a perfect example of an author embracing the ‘madness’ and it working so thoroughly.
So, yes as Professor Bhaer says in Little Women “You must write from life, from the depths of your soul! “, or…maybe not? Write whatever your soul tells you to write and even if it is a fairy story or about pygmies in Africa, it will become your story because you wrote it. Look at Alexander McCall Smith. He wrote about a spunky female detective in Botswana and he’s a stodgy old man from Scotland but it works. There are so many examples.
All I’m asking is that we give people a little more room to breath outside of their life experience. This doesn’t weaken any culture but adds a new voice and how can that be bad?
Interview Part 2
I know you are all anxiously awaiting my next entry in this trilogy of interviews, so I won’t keep you any longer. Here goes…
Marriage/Courtship-
What do you think makes a good marriage partner? I think it is just that, a partnership. There shouldn’t be a sense of domination in any way. Nor should one spouse feel overly defined by roles or responsibilities but the entire marriage should be a joint responsibility.
Too many people lump the decision of having kids and getting married together. The two should be separate choices. You should ask the question do I want to be with this person if we don’t have any kids at all? Then you can say as a separate question will he be a good father? That said, I really can’t imagine anyone that I would want to marry that wouldn’t also have the qualities of a good father but I think the 2 questions should be separate.
To me a good test of a relationship is will the person sit through something they don’t care for just because you are in it. I’m not saying they have to love it but is your participation enough to count them in. This is true for both people in the relationship. He better get used to sitting through a swim meet and cheering and I can go fishing or do whatever outdoorsy thing he loves. The other person’s happiness should make you happy most of the time (we all have our moments).
Another test- does the person make things fun that would normally be a drag. For instance, I’ve always said I want to go dancing with my boyfriend. I hate dancing, so if I can have a good time doing that we have genuine chemistry. Maybe that’s silly but there you go.
Finally, the best couples I know have an intellectual chemistry which is tough to define. Do you find the person you are with interesting? Not that they have to be interested in the same things per say but do they approach problems with a similar vigor, are you fascinated by the world? Do you listen to each other in a complimentary way? I could never be with someone who thought I was dumb or vice versa.
Why do you think so many marriages fail? Actually in my life not many do. Amazingly enough at 30 not one of my friends that I have seen get married has gotten divorced. I have met friends after they were divorced but never seen the entire process from someone in my peer group. Even in the Mormon church it seems highly unlikely that there wouldn’t be 1 couple. None of my cousins or siblings have gotten divorced. Perhaps that will happen in this decade but so far so good.
I think when marriages do fail it is usually because of selfishness. People begin to feel that their needs are more important than their spouse, and a partnership becomes 2 separate entities coexisting. Every situation is different and some times people just aren’t compatible but I think usually there is some kind of selfishness involved.
How can you comment on marriage as a single woman who has never had a relationship? Well, it doesn’t take getting shot to know it is not a pleasant experience. Some things you can extrapolate as an observer of life and human nature. I’m sure I will learn a lot when it is my turn but a girl can’t spend 3 decades and not develop any of her own ideas on the topic, so there!
I also have relationships that while not romantic have taught me something about how they work.
Family-
What is your ideal family? I have no ideal. I have never been a dreamer in that regard. I’ve only had one time in my life (BYU) where an expectation lived up to lead up. Most of the time it is best to take things as they come and be grateful for what you’ve got.
Will you be happy unmarried, without kids? Yes. It has never been a big dream of mine to get married or have kids. There are lots of reasons why but all I’ve wanted since I was a toddler (literally) is to be on my own, making my own life choices. If the situation comes I will be happy and grateful but I don’t think there is anything wrong with being happy if it doesn’t.
If you did have kids how would you want to raise them? What is important to you in parenting? I believe that kids should be in the world but not of the world. So, yes expose them to movies, literature, friends, education, but do it in a way that maintains their innocence as long as possible and allows them to have true fun. I don’t think kids should be manipulated to be mini-parents. They should be guided and counseled but also feel free to express their own views and ideas. I want my kids to know that I like being with them and that they matter to me and to God.
I do love the homeschooling movement and feel if done well it can give your children the best opportunity to flourish. You can communicate with your child in a way that no teacher can (as wonderful as they may be). The argument against homeschool is always a social one but I feel this is silly because public school can be just as much of a social nightmare. Any education requires monitoring by a parent and an active voice that makes actual learning the priority, not the grade received.
I love that with homeschool a parent takes ownership of how and what is taught to her child. She takes ownership of her child’s peer group, social activities and moral teaching. Not that they don’t have those things, as some might claim, but they are guided by a parent. There may be some who want to offer their children up to the alter of community good but not me. It may seem odd for a single girl to have an opinion on homeschool but I think you will find there isn’t much I don’t have an opinion on!
(I will add that clearly homeschool doesn’t work for every situation. I’m just saying that it would be my first choice if given the chance).
What did your parents teach you about parenting/life? My mother continually teaches me to nurture others. She is a very selfless person. In fact, she even gave up her freedom of movement when restricted to bedrest for most of her 6 pregnancies. This was a very difficult time for our family but she taught me that sacrifices are the most golden family moments. Its like on my mission- the moments where I had given my all, were the one’s where I became a true missionary. The moments in a family where you give all is when you are a true family.
My Dad teaches me each day to find joy in the journey. I get stressed out with the details of life. I put loads of unneeded pressure on myself and always have. He has always been someone who can see a way out of stress and is a true optimist. He also has a zest for life that I admire and hope to emulate.
Friendship-
What do you think is a true friend? In the quest to save the family sometimes I feel we could focus more on friendshiping in the church. Especially in the single-world friends have been a huge support for me. As wonderful as my family is when I think of the trials of my life I can also see a friend who was there to see me through.
I’ve also had so many laughs with friends over the years. A true friend loves and deserves love back. A true friend sacrifices time to be with you. A true friend has chemistry that just works. A true friend listens when you need to vent and gives you frank counsel when required. A true friend you could see every day and yet go years and still have that connection. A true friend should not be work in the traditional sense. It should be a happy work. (Its actually hard to describe a true friend, but you know it when you see it!).
One of the things I have struggled with in the last few years is maintaining an active social life. It used to be so easy for me to gather people together. Now it seems so difficult. Even to have lunch with a friend can take weeks of planning. I wish I had one friend I could call on a Friday night with nothing to do and do something. That almost never happens. People are just too busy. Even getting people to come to book club or other activity can be so hard. I’ve noticed I have more success with dinner parties or when hosting something for my swim group. Not sure why but I’m trying to figure it out. I love to entertain and would love to plan cute get-togethers. After the year I’ve had I kind of got out of the habit. The Christmas Swimfest gave me a ton of confidence and I already have a Valentines Swimfest in the works.
It just sometimes feels that while friends are so important to me, they are less important for people with families. There are exceptions which I am very grateful for and I understand the predominance family should take. That said, it can still be hard and lonely to feel that everyone else has moved on to the next step and you are still in college-mode. As much as I loved college nobody wants to be at the same spot forever.
Work/Adult Life-
What is the hardest thing to do as an adult? Finding balance. It always seems that one part of my life is taking over whether it health, work, family struggles, exercising whatever. Achieving balance is the goal of a lifetime.
In what ways has adulthood disappointed you? This is such a good question for me because I wanted to be an adult so badly. I would say the greatest disappointment is the mundanity of life. I don’t know what exactly I expected but so much of life is routines and doing the same thing over and over again. Even in the most glamorous jobs there is a fair amount of tedium. Its just part of adult life.
I also wish I had taken more advantage of time off as a young college student to explore or go places. I think because my parents traveled I assumed I would be able to do that later, and I have been very blessed in that regard, but its hard! Its hard to find the time, get off work, get ready, catch up when you get home etc. Its something I should have enjoyed more when I had the chance.
I was also in a rush to finish everything. I set a goal and I want to get it done now. This is why weight loss has been so tough for me because it is not something that can be done right in a few months. It takes years, a lifetime really. I don’t like things that take a lifetime! Again, I should enjoy the journey more.
If you could have your dream job what would it be? I think it would be cool to work in a political campaign. I also love public speaking and think I might take a stab at politics some day. I feel I would be a good advocate for causes I believe in but I am sure the whole process would drive me crazy (again the waiting and the tedium are my struggles!). Also, I think it would be great to teach college, especially at BYU. I have pondered a PHD before but there are so few positions in the liberal arts that it does not seem like a good choice. Still, it would be my dream job.
Are you disappointed to not be doing your dream job? Yes but I’ve learned that how I work is much more important to me than what I am actually doing. Working from home and being my own boss is worth any sacrifice- even working in accounting all day! I get chills and feel nauseated at the thought of going back to ‘cubicle Hell’ as I call it.
My only regret in working alone is I don’t have the chance to mentor people. I benefited greatly from mentors in my youth and I hope to someday have that chance as an adult. I’ve enjoyed teaching in my ward the last 2 years and feel I have been a mentor to some of the younger girls (and I feel I mentor my younger siblings) but I’d like to find someone that I can really guide and mentor.
What is your greatest flaw? Definitely holding grudges. I grew up seeing the world in terms of bullies and victims. That’s how I survived. I learned that people who abuse do it again and I kept them in that spot forever. There are still people from my life that I struggle with anger and resentment towards. I know it only hurts me but it is tough. I get better each year at forgiving and hopefully by the end I will be something like my Grandpa Richards who loved unconditionally. That is my goal to be like him because he was so much like Jesus. My relationship with Christ helps polish me each day and that includes grudges, resentments, fears and everything else.
Do you wish you were skinny? I’d be lying if I said No. As I mentioned in my last post judgement has always been tough for me to absorb and unfortunately being fat carries tons of judgement. I still feel great resentment at anyone who places a label on me because of my weight. It would be nice to not deal with these judgements. However, I suppose society would just find something else to judge and I’d have to deal with it. I do appreciate the strength my journey has given me and being heavy forced me to rely on God for praise because in a few moments that was the only place I could get it. And maybe I do a little bit of good correcting prejudice and speaking out. If that was the case, it’d all be worth it.
Well, that’s a lot. Probably more than any of you care to read but it does me a great deal of good to say it. The next entry will be on my views on the political and social issues of the day. Should be pretty fun! (I have had an interest in politics since I was in grade school and voted in every election since I turned 18. It is very important to me).
Interview Part 1
I’ve mentioned before that I like to put documentaries on while I do boring projects because they keep me awake but don’t require my full attention- kind of background noise. Today I re-watched one of the best documentaries ever made called The Up Series. This is a series that started in Great Britain in 1964 which follows 14 kids every 7 years of their lives. In May they will be doing 56 Up. It is amazing to see the transformation of these individuals from little children to grandparents- the original reality TV.
As I was watching it today I couldn’t help but feel a bit envious of the subjects. They all hate the intrusion into their lives and I suppose that would be difficult but on the other hand, they have an entire nation who is interested in what they have to say. I have some people who are interested in talking with me and care for me deeply but its been a long time since someone was focused just on me (a selfish desire I know but there you go).
In an interview it is just you and the interviewer. There is something very appealing about that. I admit the idea kind of soothes my ego. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have someone taking notes on the things I’ve said or perhaps finding some truth in my words to make their life better. That must be a great feeling?
My family is a believer in discussion which I love. I am always totally open to a debate and love chatting it up on most any topic.
That said, it is so nice when someone just wants to listen.
In the spirit of the UP Series I am going to interview myself with similar questions and perhaps it might be helpful to you or instructive in some way. I am going to do this in 3 parts, first part childhood, 2nd part views on family/marriage, 3 views on politics/other. Feel free to submit those questions you’ve been dying to ask me all these years!
1. What is your memory of childhood? I had a dual nature as a child. A part of me was magical, floating, and whimsical. I loved to dance around the house to my Dad’s old Moody Blues album or to the Beach Boys. I loved my dolls and would spend hours coming up with elaborate ‘scenarios’ my girls could act out (usually involving some kind of orphan. I always wanted to be an orphan- sorry Mom and Dad!). I enjoyed being the leader and inspiring others.
Unfortunately I also remember a deep sense of frustration. I was often frustrated with being a kid, of never being right, never being taken seriously (especially true as a teenager). Judgements have also always been difficult for me to deal with. As a child, I was bullied which is an experience you never forget. I think there was always a side of me that thought ‘if only they knew the real me, they’d love me’ but that ‘real me’ is frustratingly difficult to put into words. I’m still working on that at 31.
In many ways I was an odd child because I craved attention but at the same time resisted affection. I can’t explain it but that’s the way I’ve always been.
2. What is a happy memory from childhood? There are lots. I have great memories of boating with my family. Whether it was Lake Powell or the Potomac River we spent many happy hours boating together. I’ve always loved the water and if I had been introduced to the ocean sooner I am sure I would have loved that but boating was a lot of fun.
I also have very happy memories of being read to every night by my Mother and/or Father. Even when we were old enough to read by ourselves my parents read to us consistently and this was very important to a late reader like myself. My parents also endowed me with a passion for learning that has helped me to find happiness throughout my life.
3. What do you think of as the happiest time of your life? Definitely my college years. I went through so much change and finally felt some of that frustration I’d been carrying around for 20 years lessen. Its such a cliche but I finally had a voice and could say the things I’d been thinking. I remember one time in high school after a fight with my family just thinking to myself- ”nobody understands what I’m trying say”. In college people started to understand and I treasure that time.
I feel like I got to experience in college, what most people get in high school- the friendships, parties, dances, fun. I LOVED BYU and am still its biggest fan. I loved college because I finally had the freedom I wanted for so many years (my Dad even wrote a declaration of independence for me when I turned 18.). I loved my family but no girl in all the world was more excited to be out on her own than me. Strangely when many feel college as a burden, I felt a release of my burdens and a freedom that was fabulous. Its a good thing I’m Mormon or I might have really expressed that free spirit!
4. What is your greatest accomplishment? Tough question because I don’t really feel like I’ve done anything that great. In some ways finishing Slam the Dam last October felt like my greatest accomplishment. It was something I never thought I could do and I did it. The world would say my MBA was my greatest accomplishment but I never had any doubt I could achieve that.
On second thought, my mission was my greatest accomplishment. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done and my gift to God. He knew I’d worked as hard as I possibly could for Him. I’m grateful to be able to say that I’ve given Him my all at least once in my life. I hope at the end of my life I can give Him my life as a gift just as I did with my mission.
5. What is your greatest regret? My greatest regret is that I never learned how to read music. I’m envious of all kids that are forced to take music lessons. I take voice lessons now but I am always behind because I can’t read the notes. I have to memorize the sound instead.
I bitterly regret that it took me until 30 to figure out my insulin resistance/blood sugar problems. I was angry and frustrated a lot as a child and I think a lot of that could be tied back to the fact that I was tired and either on an upper or lower from the food I was eating. What I would give to go back in time and give the 10 year old me a glucometer and teach her how to eat for her unique body. Maybe I would have just tossed it aside as I did most advice but still I do regret those decades of unanswered questions and frustrations.
I also feel like I had a lot of bad luck. Just as we found a great school for me, my family moved. When I was going through all my major transitions, my family was in crisis mode. Everyone did the best they could but I wish a few things had turned out differently. Oh well. So is life. I’m stronger for having faced those challenges and emerging the slightly weary victor.
6. In what ways have you changed as a grown up and what ways are you the same as your childhood self? I think in most ways I’m happier now than I was as a kid. It might sound crazy but I feel more comfortable in my own skin at 30 than I did at 20, 15, 10 etc. I compare myself to others less frequently than I used to, it takes less to make me happy and I don’t need the control I used to require.
That said, I still am the same in many ways. I still am passionate and wish to do something great. I still feel defensive when I am judged by others. I am still a fiercely loyal friend and enjoy being with others and being by myself. I still love art, media and music and it still makes me happy when I can introduce others to things that I love. I’m a sharer. I love sharing my happiness with others.
I’m actually more of a reader now than I was as a little girl but I’ve kept that love of learning my parents taught. Adult life can get so routine and boring. Reading a new book or learning something new is about the only way I’ve got to be exciting and different any more.
I also gained a witness when I was 14 years old that God loves me and He thinks I’m beautiful. That has never changed. I’ve carried that witness in my pocket wherever I go, in whatever challenges I face.
7. What do you think the 12 year old self would think of the 31 year old you? I think she would be impressed. She’d probably be a little surprised I’m single but it was never a big dream of mine to be married. She’d think it was awesome that I have my own apartment and get to live independently. She’d also love the open water swimming and be very proud of my accomplishments. She would probably be the most disappointed in my job- that I’m not doing something exciting or that really helps people. She wanted to do something great like become a senator or the like. Still, I think she’d be very pleased with the 30 year old me.
Get ready for part 2! Please share your thoughts on me and what I’ve said. How would you answer some of these questions?
Rachel’s Homemade Vanilla
I have a very exciting announcement. Rachel’s first homemade vanilla has been made. I’m not the most crafty, projecty person in the world but I’ve always loved to cook and bake. Last winter we had a visitor at our rental properties from Siberia, Russia (with the main contact being the predictable name of Sergei). They were very cheerful guys and in return for collecting a few packages for them before their trip they had presents for me direct from their ‘hometown’. It was very nice of them but I was a bit befuddled when they gave me a bottle of vodka and 3 Russian chocolate bars (which I didn’t care for).
What should a Mormon girl do with a bottle of vodka? Then a friend suggested the idea of making my own vanilla. This can also be done with bourbon but vodka works. I was able to find a great deal on vanilla beans from the Arizona Vanilla Company. They sell 12 vanilla beans for $10.95 which is a terrific bargain. You can also buy their beans through Amazon. 
Once you get the beans you simply put them in a jar with the vodka, completely covering the beans (I cut the beans in half to make it work). I then let the beans and vodka marinate for at least 3 months. I have now taken the beans out and transferred the vanilla liquid into a smaller bottle, ready to use in baking and other purposes. I can’t wait to make homemade vanilla ice cream with my own vanilla! (I’d like to make some with agave and maybe almond milk. Yum!). I also have the vanilla beans that I can use to add vanilla bean pulp to the homemade ice cream. Breyers will be jealous!
If any of you have healthy ice cream/sorbet recipes I’d love to try them out. I got a brand new ice cream maker for Christmas and I’m very excited to try it out. I generally stay away from sugar/honey and gravitate towards agave/stevia and fresh fruit for sweetness. I am also excited to use alternative milks like almond and coconut.
I look forward to making more homemade vanilla but that requires going to the State Liquor Store (part of a strange rule in Utah). This might sound stupid but I have such a recognizable car and if someone were to see me at the state liquor store…Anyway, I have enough vanilla to last a long time!
Not Ready for Female President
I haven’t done a political post in some time but my thoughts have been on the upcoming Iowa caucus. I am very curious to see who will emerge as the Republican frontrunner (combined with New Hampshire, South Carolina and Florida). There are things I like and don’t like about all of the candidates and I honestly have not decided who I like the most.
I relate to Mitt Romney and feel he has the business sense to help get this economy running- like America’s CEO. I also like his dedication to family and traditional values. I am not a fan based solely on his Mormonism, but I must admit I do feel a certain underlying connection when he speaks. I felt the same thing when Harry Reid spoke at BYU and I would never vote for him, so clearly it is not a deciding factor. I do think that he is good in debates and will present a formidable candidate to Pres. Obama. I also think he is a smart choice for Republicans because he has experience working with democrats to get results. He is a compromisor (sometimes too much so) but after 4 years of uncompromising liberalism I can live with a moderate Republican.
That said, closest to me in positions is Michele Bachmann who as a fellow tea partier believes in a small federal government with greater rights going to the states. For example, programs like education should be handled at the local, state level. Bachmann has also been consistent in her support for marriage, minimal spending, against raising the debt ceiling and supporting pro-life legislation. The interesting thing is whenever I talk to my Republican friends who mirror my political opinions they all say that Bachmann is ‘unelectable’.
Why is that? Part of the reason is she has some polarizing positions that won’t attract moderates, but I also think that America is not ready for a female president. 92% of American’s say they would elect a female president, but I don’t know if that statistic pans out to actual candidates. A 2007 study found “that a significant percentage of people are hiding their true feelings on questions related to female candidates for the presidency….While women candidates seem to be making some strides in races for many offices…the office of the presidency may be difficult to reach.”
Why would people be resistant to a female president? Well, I think the problem lies that a female candidate has to have everything that a male candidate needs plus they need to prove their leadership abilities (something that is a given in most men). A woman must also prove that their family is not a barrier to their work (something that has been thwarting women in many careers for years).
Also, all of the female candidates so far have been criticized for their styles in ways men are not. Someone like a Hilary Clinton is too much of a pantsuit wearing unfeminine witch (I would use another word but I have a family friendly site!) or in the case of Sarah Palin you are too much of a prom queen, too fluffy. Men are not judged by such a shallow filter. For example, John Edwards was criticized for his $400 haircut and his fluffy internet video getting ready for a photo shoot; however, it was only a momentary laugh and it did not seriously hurt his candidacy. If it had been a woman with the video getting primped and spending $400 on a haircut she would be immediately dismissed as a joke.
Anne Kornblut author of ‘Cracked Ceiling: Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin and What It Will Take for a Woman to Win describes what is an ‘electable’ female candidate:
“I’ve played this game with myself for a long time. She is completely impossible. She would have served in the military and stayed home and raised her children full-time. She’d be married to someone with money, and she’d have some business experience. There’s just no way she could exist. There are too many demands on this candidate.
But joking aside – she’d be authentic, which would need to be true of a male or female presidential candidate. She’d cross the credential threshold – she’d have demonstrated that she’s qualified, and she’d be a communicator. Those are the areas where women have sometimes struggled.”
The problem is there will always be a male candidate with similar positions without the barrier of being a woman. What political party will take the risk on a female candidate when you can pick a male without that risk?
I really wonder if the democratic party (a generally more progressive party) cannot elect Hillary Clinton with all her leadership experience is there an electable candidate out there? I really don’t know. I certainly believe there are many candidates that are capable and would do a great job but are they electable? I just don’t know. I wish they were but I don’t know.
It is generally seen acceptable for a woman to be chosen as a vice presidential choice and perhaps this is a first step but perhaps not. Since the first vice president the office has been seen as “the most insignificant office that ever the invention of man contrived or his imagination conceived”. Women have always been the supporters of men and is that not the role of the vice president? Of course, there is always the potential of becoming president as the vice president (happened 9 times in our country’s history) but it is still the silver medal of political power.
The problem is not that women couldn’t do the job, its that people subconsciously feel they can’t do the job as well. It may be unfortunate but true that people still see maternal affection and feminine virtues as weak and fragile. I happen to believe they are strengths and provide an empathy that is not as present in most men who have not spent time caregiving in their lives. In addition, not all women, or all mothers, are the same, even if they are perceived as being the same or as having the same weaknesses.
Just as men shouldn’t be looked at as one voting block, women should be seen as unique individuals with different strengths and weaknesses. Unfortunately, I don’t know if this will ever happen. I hope it will, but again my fear is there will always be a male candidate that doesn’t have to overcome these barriers.
What do you think about this issue? Are we ready for a female candidate? If so, why do you think the candidates so far have failed (assuming Bachmann does not get the nomination)? What can be done to create a viable female candidate? Who do you think should run that hasn’t? Do you feel that motherhood is more of a barrier for women than fatherhood is for men? What other barriers need to be breached and how can that happen? Do you feel resistant in a woman’s ability to lead? (Be prepared to defend yourself on that one!) Do you think that a women would make a better or worse president? If so, why? I would love to hear your perspective.
On a lighter note, there have been 2 female presidents on network shows (Commander and Chief and 24) so that’s some headway. Now for life to imitate Hollywood!
